The Irate Gamer (TV Series)

Mario's Time Machine/Mario Is Missing: Part 2 (2010)

Chris Bores: The Irate Gamer, Luigi, Ronnie the Skeleton

Quotes 

• The Irate Gamer : Well same to you, Sir Isaac Asshole! Who knew that Sir Isaac Newton was such a dick?

• The Irate Gamer : What's this guy want?

  [text box appears that says "give me your wallet"] 

  The Irate Gamer : Give me your wallet? Those damn banditos.

• The Irate Gamer : Answer them wrong and she'll get all pissy. Fine, you stupid bitch, I'll just keep the stupid item. Hell, I always wanted the Westminster Abbey anyway.

• The Irate Gamer : What the hell is that smell?

  Ronnie the Skeleton : Huh. Smells like a gas leak. I'll go fix it.

  The Irate Gamer : Thanks, Ronnie. It's a good thing he was here.

• The Irate Gamer : [reading question]  Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello or Splinter? Okay, you know what? That's probably the most amusing thing you'll find in this entire game.

• Ronnie the Skeleton : Well there you go, I fixed the gas leak for you.

  The Irate Gamer : Already? Boy that was quick.

  Ronnie the Skeleton : Yeah, well, I'm a quick worker.

  The Irate Gamer : Wow. Well thanks, Ronnie, you probably saved my life.

  Ronnie the Skeleton : Yeah, I know, just wait until you get my bill.

  The Irate Gamer : [pause]  What?

• The Irate Gamer : Because in order to advance in the level, you're required to fill in the blanks in your history book first. Now in any other game, you would have the option of picking the answer from four choices, not four-fucking-hundred! Holy shit! There's really no reason for this.

• Ronnie the Skeleton : Boy that looks fun. I'd love to travel to all those places.

  The Irate Gamer : Yeah, I'd definitely second that.

  Luigi : [pops up from pipe]  Oh, yeah? Well, let's-a go.

  Ronnie the Skeleton : Oh, oh, really? This'll be great.

  The Irate Gamer : All right!

• The Irate Gamer : In fact, they could have just called this game "National Lampoon's Luigi's Vacation" and nobody would be really the wiser.

• The Irate Gamer : Now if you thought the NES version was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet.

• The Irate Gamer : So now we have Mario is Missing for the 16-bit console. And with this version, you get levels that are twice as big, so that can only mean: more of this walking bullshit.

• The Irate Gamer : But as for everything else, it just seems like walking, walking, and more boring walking. And keep in mind these clips are sped up by 300%, so imagine this game at normal speed.

• The Irate Gamer : Oh, that's just great. You know what's worse than playing a boring-ass game for over four hours? Playing a boring-ass game for over four hours and finding out you got the shittier ending!

• The Irate Gamer : Again, Mario is given the task of returning items to the past that Boswer has stolen. In the main area, you'll have the option of picking from five items. And after picking one, it's time to consult your history book and activate your time machine. And... Wait a minute. Everything now has to be put in manually? Holy shit, I'll be here all day! And the worst part is that you just don't go straight to the next level. Oh, no. Instead, you'll be transported to a surfing board level. Now what the hell does this have to do with time travel? Jumping gigawatts! Just give me a flux capacitor so I can get the hell out of here.