The Office (TV Series)

The Chump (2010)

Steve Carell: Michael Scott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Scott : If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

• Michael Scott : [Speaking to Toby]  You tell me that radon is silent but deadly and expect me not to make farting noises?

• Creed Bratton : Uh, boss, we're out of paper.

  Michael Scott : Yeah, I noticed that.

  Creed Bratton : Uh, can you add anymore?

  Michael Scott : Nope.

  Creed Bratton : He don't give an f about nothing!

  Michael Scott : I have got big balls.

• Michael Scott : I like Donna. Is it wrong to keep seeing her? Depends on who you ask. I mean, if you ask her husband or you took a random poll, yeah, it's wrong.

• Andy Bernard : In any cheating movie, the person getting cheated on is the hero. You're Ali Larter, I'm Beyoncé.

  Michael Scott : I am Beyoncé always.

  Andy Bernard : Not this time.

  Michael Scott : Yes, I am.

• Michael Scott : People, this is Scranton, and many people consider that to be the Paris of northeastern Pennsylvania. And in Paris, it is rude for a woman to have less than four lovers.

• Pam Beesly : Michael Scott, are you still seeing Donna?

  Michael Scott : Okay, Pam, she's not invisible, so stop asking silly questions.

• Michael Scott : I can't wait to see this jerk who is making me cheat on his wife. I should punch him in the nose for what he's making me do to her.

• Michael Scott : How do I feel about breaking up with Donna? Good. Moral. I feel proud. Like a grownup. That was not easy, because I really liked her a lot. I'm a little bit emotional right now because I know that I absolutely made the right decision. At the end of the day, we have to do what's right. And it was either living with myself... or being happy. And I picked... the...

  [Thinks it through] 

  Michael Scott : ... former.

• Pam Beesly : Hey, Michael.

  Michael Scott : Hey.

  Pam Beesly : We were wondering if you'd like to have dinner with us tonight in our home and play with our baby.

  Jim Halpert : We could order in from Hooters.