- Cletus: You have the eloquence and sense of urgency of a census worker caught in a bear trap.
- Chief Wiggum: [after putting the Wiccans in the back of the squad car] I feel kinda sorry for them. Lou, toss them a Judy Blume novel.
- Lou: All we got is Wifey.
- Chief Wiggum: Really, nothing with kids in it? Damn budget cuts.
- Lisa Simpson: [Lost in the woods] Why did I pick poetry class instead of Girl Scouts? Why did I pick poetry class instead of Girl Scouts?