- Tom Haverford: Leslie, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but once you go in there, you will see things you cannot unsee.
- Leslie Knope: I'm a feminist, okay? I would never ever go to a strip club. I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name, it would be Equality. But I'm willing to sacrifice all that I've worked for just to put a smile on your perfect little face. So don't blow this.
- Tom Haverford: Alright.
- Leslie Knope: Okay, lap dances are on me! I mean I'm paying for them. They're not actually gonna be "on" me.
- Leslie Knope: We are going to the Glitter Factory.
- Tom Haverford: What?
- Donna Meagle: Not me. I can't go back there. But if you see Jasmine, tell her she can keep Anthony, but I want my microwave back.
- Leslie Knope: ...Okay, good. You're gonna take April home.
- April Ludgate: No, I wanna go to the Glitter Factory!
- Leslie Knope: Well, drop out of school and start doing meth.