- [Johnson has announced that everyone has been made redundant and has fled in a new chauffeur-driven BMW 7 Series]
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] The last Beemer out of Saigon. I'm at the mercy of the Vietnamese peasants. Please don't put me in a bamboo cage.
- Jeremy Usborne: I mean, there weren't any jobs when I didn't want a job, and now I do want a job, there are like, totally no jobs. Not just like, there aren't any jobs, but like, there are totally, quite literally no jobs.
- Super Hans: You should just a get a van. With a van it's like you've got an MBA, but you've also got a fucking van! You're not just a man anymore, you are a man with a van. You get a van, Jez, we could be men with ven.
- Jeremy Usborne: [voiceover] Hasn't got a girlfriend so he buys a new sofa. You can't fuck a sofa, mate, take it from me.
- Mark Corrigan: Yeah, so you'll just be following the cold-calling script.
- Jeremy Usborne: There's a script? So I'll be like, an actor?
- Mark Corrigan: [deadpan] Exactly, Jeremy, you'll be just like an actor, like Al Pacino or Jeremy Irons. Just tell everyone you call up "Hello, you've been specially selected as eligible for our exclusive introductory interest rate."
- Jeremy Usborne: Well, no, not everyone, cos if it's exclusive, then...
- [the realisation dawns on him]
- Jeremy Usborne: Oh my God. It's wheels within wheels. I've been invited inside, with the bean counters and the water boarders.
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] At some point he's going to find out what goes in sausages.
- Dobby: Hey, guess what!
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] You love me and you to want to move to Norway?
- Dobby: Pete heard we're in profit, the German outfit's the one that's tanking, but Strauss is closing up the UK to save the mothership.
- Mark Corrigan: Jesus! You're kidding, is that true?
- Dobby: Dunno, it might be one of those rumours you get after disasters, like, did you know no one with an Apple Mac died on 9/11?
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Boss of the JLB Survivors. Yes! Probably a lot of organisations got started to bag pussy for their leaders. Charles Manson and his family, Henry VIII and the Church of England.