House M.D. (TV Series)

5 to 9 (2010)

Lisa Edelstein: Dr. Lisa Cuddy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : They should be pressuring other hospitals to be more like us, not trying to make us more like them. It's stupid!

  Dr. Gregory House : Putting your job on the line in an effort to stamp out stupidity isn't?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : You would.

  Dr. Gregory House : Probably, but then I also wanted to try to cure cancer by infecting a guy with malaria to win a $50 bet. You really want to be like me?

• Dr. James Wilson : [to Cuddy]  How's it going?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Got three hours to save this place from bankruptcy, I just fired one of my best employees and the woman taking care of my sick child isn't returning my calls.

  Dr. James Wilson : Rachel's gonna be fine, I'm sure whoever he or she is deserved it, and we're not going bankrupt. Are we?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Don't worry. The board will fire me before they allow that to happen.

  Dr. James Wilson : They'd never fire you.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I just told Atlanticnet Insurance I'd terminate unless they gave us a 12% bump.

  Dr. James Wilson : They might fire you.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : You're an idiot. What do you do the next time one of your patients needs a liver transplant?

  Dr. Gregory House : Go talk to Wilson about something completely unrelated and see what happens.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to Wilson]  What do you think I should do about Atlanticnet?

  Dr. James Wilson : You're asking a guy who paid full sticker price for his last car. You ask House? He's a master manipulator who always gets what he wants.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : This situation is out of control enough already. House is the last person I want to get involved.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [Finding House getting a massage in his office]  What?

  Dr. Gregory House : Would you rather I go back on vicodin?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : She's not massaging your leg.

  Dr. Gregory House : She will... eventually.

• Lucas Douglas : I'm sorry. It's hard to pace yourself when you've been thinking about it for 10 hours straight.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : That's great. Now I'm late, stressed out and frustrated!

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : While Atlanticnet Insurance has a marketing budget that's more than our pediatric ICU's and transplant units combined. Your PGA sponsorship could pay for our walk-in clinic, and the money you spend to fuel your two private jets could fund our air ambulance service for the next three years.

  Tannenbaum : Your point being?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Your growth may be good for your bottom line, but ours allows us to save lives and I would rather not have to announce to the press how selective your company appears to be when it comes to cutting costs.

  Tannenbaum : Morgan was right. You are one tough gal. You can portray me as a rich bastard in the press all you want just as long as I stay rich.

• Stan : You bitch.

  [Cuddy turns around] 

  Stan : I didn't think you'd actually do it.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I told you I would.

  Stan : Call the dogs off.

  [Hands her a new contract] 

  Stan : You got your 12. Congratulations.

  [Stan leaves] 

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : YES!

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to Dr. Thomas]  I'm sorry, Dave. I don't really have time right now...

  Dr. Dave Thomas : Think I had time to listen to him go for 20 minutes about the damn temperature in the OR?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I took care of it.

  Dr. Dave Thomas : It's not an "it." It's a "him" you need to take care of. You got the entire staff catering to House's every whim and I can't get approval to hire a replacement for the surgeon he stole from my department? A doctor I only took on in the first place because of pressure from you?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : So you didn't want Chase, but now you're pissed you can't have him?

  Dr. Dave Thomas : You want to convene a search committee and start looking for a new chief of surgery?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : No, Dave.

  Dr. Dave Thomas : Then you better stop spending all your time putting out his fires and start doing your damn job.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to Eli]  So you guys ready to give some ground so we can make this deal?

  Eli Morgan : Why would we do that?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : We've been going at this for eight months.

  Eli Morgan : Soon as you decide to get reasonable.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I'm the one that's unreasonable? You've taken weeks to respond to every proposal I've presented.

  Eli Morgan : Atlanticnet Insurance is the largest healthcare provider in New Jersey and you're not the only hospital whose contracts are up. So is your team ready to come back to the table?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Yeah. We're not going to.

  [hands him a file] 

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : This is our final offer. We're willing to go with a capitated structure, but we need at least 12% increase in reimbursements across the board.

  Eli Morgan : Well, the good news is I can give you a quick response. Not a chance. But as always, nice talking to you. Say hi to your sister for me.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : If you don't accept the offer, we're gonna terminate the contract.

  Eli Morgan : Gonna be hard to keep this place open if all your patients have to pay cash. Princeton Plainsboro is the smallest hospital in our entire network.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : We're also the best.

  Eli Morgan : Doesn't matter. We are responsible for covering 13 million people. We don't have enough cash to buy them all Maseratis.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I know what you paid Bergen, Newark Beth Israel, Robert Wood Johnson...

  Eli Morgan : 'Cause they have leverage. You can be expensive or small, but you can't be both.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I've engaged Jones/Curtin to handle the PR and I'm prepared to make the announcement at 3:00 p.m. today.

  Eli Morgan : First lesson every good poker player learns is don't get emotional. You don't have the cards and the sooner you realize that, the sooner a reasonable contract will get signed.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : You have until 3:00 p.m. to change your mind.

  Eli Morgan : I always did like your style. Gonna be sad to see you go.

• Lucas Douglas : [to Cuddy as he enters the clinic]  What a bitch.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : What are you doing here?

  Lucas Douglas : Sounded like you were going to be too busy for lunch, so my specialty...

  [holds up a brown paper bag] 

  Lucas Douglas : spinach lasagna.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Sure you didn't come looking for more people you could brag about our sex life to?

  Lucas Douglas : Okay. Sorry. From now on, I got nothing but bad things to say about our sex life.

  [Cuddy gives him a look] 

  Lucas Douglas : Or nothing to say.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to Lucas]  And what's going on with Marina? She hasn't called me back.

  Lucas Douglas : She was gonna call. I told her I'd let you know everything was okay.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : So her fever broke?

  Lucas Douglas : What exactly does that mean, "when a fever breaks?"

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Lucas, I'm very busy. Does she have a fever or not?

  Lucas Douglas : [looking at Cuddy's uneaten salad]  That was gonna be your lunch? And you didn't have breakfast either.

  [puts the brown bag on her desk] 

  Lucas Douglas : No, she doesn't have a fever, and the rash was just, like, a little diaper rash.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [as she puts the brown bag on the floor]  What rash? She has a rash?

  Lucas Douglas : Little one.

  [Cuddy picks up the phone to call Marina] 

  Lucas Douglas : Lisa, don't worry. I'm telling you.

  [a cell phone rings and Lucas takes a ringing cell phone out of his pocket] 

  Lucas Douglas : Oh, god. I must have grabbed Marina's cell by mistake.

  [Cuddy disconnects and starts to dial her home number] 

  Lucas Douglas : And I turned the ringer off on the home phone so I could sleep.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [hangs up the phone]  What are you doing to me?

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to Eli]  I want 12.

  Eli Morgan : You're not gonna get 12. There's just no way.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : 8% barely covers our cost inflation.

  Eli Morgan : But capitated structure should allow you to hold down inflation.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : And shifts all your risk onto us which is why we deserve 12.

  Eli Morgan : Lisa, come on. The guy who mows my lawn makes more than my kid's teacher. Hell, the two guys whose lunch you interrupted could get fired and their severance would be more than most of their employees make in a lifetime. It doesn't have anything to do with what you deserve. This is it. Take it or leave it.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to House]  Why am I the only person here who cares what happens to this hospital? Get off your ass and get your department under control. At least for the next few days.

  Dr. Gregory House : It's gonna take longer than a few days for a company the size of Atlanticnet to start feeling the squeeze of your P.R. campaign. If they ever do.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : And you know this how? From all the time you've spent researching them and their other contracts? The way they handle their press relations?

  Dr. Gregory House : I know they have a nascar team. Despite what you may have learned at hebrew school or from Jimmy Cliff, sometimes the bigger they are, the harder they kick your ass.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to Mr. Acevedo]  You still have a thumb because of us and like everyone else in this world, we don't work for free. We earn this money and if we have to take your house to get it, we will.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [as Chase and Dr. Thomas are fighting with each other] 

  [to House] 

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : What the hell is going on?

  Dr. Gregory House : I told them to use their words.

• Dr. Gregory House : [to Cuddy]  They're not gonna fire you and you're not gonna quit.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Why?

  Dr. Gregory House : Because you're an idiot. This place needs you and that matters to you.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [to House]  What do you think of that pharm tech, Gail?

  Dr. Gregory House : She's a sociopath.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : You knew she was stealing meds?

  Dr. Gregory House : No, but have you seen the way she opens the mail?