NCIS (TV Series)
The Inside Man (2009)
Michael Weatherly: Anthony DiNozzo
Quotes
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NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Is that pastrami?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Yes.
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Can I have some?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : No. This is my dinner. You can have the pickle.
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : I don't like pickles.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I know.
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NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Hey Boss, you ever fail your polygraph?
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Nope. Never took one.
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NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : [Watching Gibbs in interrogation] So what do you think? How's he going to break her down? What's the style?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : He's leading with Creepy Uncle, but I think he's gonna go with Father Figure you can trust.
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Nope. Just doesn't feel right. I am going to go with the classic in your face Gibbs the Intimidator.
Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison : Don't think so.
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NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs : How you doing? Special Agent Gibbs and DiNozzo. Sit down.
Benjamin Franklin : Thank you. Benjamin Franklin, Securities and Exchange Commission. I know, I don't look like an SEC investigator.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Is that really your name?
Benjamin Franklin : Yes, and I've heard every imaginable joke. So, spare me?
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NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Why do I get the feeling that Gibbs and Sportelli are going to come to blows.
Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison : Who is Sportelli?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : He's the police detective who made the mistake of tugging on Superman's cape.
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Ziva David, Former Mossad Liaison : [after listening to a Beltway Burns clip which is an outright lie] That is total salami!
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Baloney.
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[outside the police impound lot, McGee loads a paintball gun]
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Are you sure that thing's gonna work?
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Yeah. It's my own personal concoction of oatmeal, mayonnaise, and carpenter's glue. Perfectly simulates bird droppings.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Us grown-ups use a different word for it.
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Used it very successfully in the Chesapeake team paintball finals last summer.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Paintball? Cool. All right, so that's the camera you want to hit with your bird poop, McSniper.
[McGee fires, splattering white goo all over the camera lens]
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Hmm, nice shot. I'm impressed.
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[Tony starts to climb the fence to the police impound lot, McGee hesitates]
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : What?
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : You're sure there're no dogs?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I don't see any dogs, I don't hear any dogs, so no, there are no dogs!
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NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [hears barking] Dogs, McGee! Dogs!
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Yeah, right.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [panicking] Real dogs! Big dogs! Get out of here!
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : You said there weren't any dogs!
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[fleeing guard dogs]
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : This is like "Turner and Hooch"! Or "K-9" with Jim Belushi! Run away, McGee! AAAAAH!