Ted Lasso (TV Series)

The Signal (2021)

Phil Dunster: Jamie Tartt

Quotes 

• Ted Lasso : Roy, you're not gonna like this, but right now, Jamie here is being the mature one.

  Jamie Tartt : It's true. I'm being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy baby twat!

  Ted Lasso : He just wants to learn from you.

  Jamie Tartt : If you know how to make me better, I want to hear it.

  Ted Lasso : See?

  Roy Kent : Fine. I'll tell you what's wrong with you.

  Ted Lasso : All right, now! Here we go!

  Roy Kent : [looks at Ted]  You fucked him up.

  Ted Lasso : Whoa. Okay, expound.

  Roy Kent : You've made him a team player. You've got him to pass and shit, and in doing so, you've made him average. 'Cause, Jamie, deep down, at your core, you are a prick. So just be a prick. We need you to score more goals, and we need you to get in the other teams' fucking heads and drive them up the fucking wall like only you can fucking do.

  Jamie Tartt : So I can go back to being a prick?

  Roy Kent : No. I'm saying, sometimes, when it is appropriate... yes, be a prick.

  Jamie Tartt : Okay. How will I know when?

  Ted Lasso : I'm actually curious about that myself, too.

  Roy Kent : We'll give you a signal.

  Jamie Tartt : What signal?

  Ted Lasso : Any specifics we need to look out for?

  Roy Kent : You'll know it when you see it.

• Jamie Tartt : You fucking arsehole!

  Roy Kent : Yeah, I know you are, but so are you.

  Jamie Tartt : I'm trying to build bridges here!

  Roy Kent : You couldn't fucking build Jeff Bridges!

• Jamie Tartt : Big man, Roy Kent.

  Roy Kent : No.

  Jamie Tartt : Come on, man. Why won't you coach me?

  Roy Kent : Because you don't deserve it.

  Jamie Tartt : You're right. I don't deserve it.

  Roy Kent : And the way you play is dull and conformist.

  Jamie Tartt : It's true. I do play in quite a... dull and conformist-y way.

  Roy Kent : [stops walking, realizes what Jamie is trying to do]  And you're ugly. You're an ugly, ugly boy. With bad hair.

  [Jamie stares, taken aback] 

  Roy Kent : Say it.

  Jamie Tartt : [with great effort]  I am...

  Roy Kent : Yeah?

  Jamie Tartt : I am an ugly, ugly boy... with hair that maybe could be slightly... with bad hair, fine!

  [pause] 

  Roy Kent : Cheers. I enjoyed that.