- Ted Lasso: [hearing that Rebecca is planning to attend a Christmas party at Sir Elton John's home] Well, hold me closer, Tiny Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen!
- Leslie Higgins: [Raising a toast] To the family we're born with, and to the family we make along the way. And, most importantly, to Richmond!
- Ted Lasso: [Walking to Rebecca's car, Rebecca on the right, Ted on the left] Oh, you want me to drive?
- Rebecca Welton: The steering wheel's on this side.
- Ted Lasso: Right. I'm the one with the accent here. I forgot. Sorry.
- Ted Lasso: How you doing, Jamie? What can I help you with?
- Jamie Tartt: Have you got anything that I can give as a present in here?
- Keeley Jones: Did you not buy a Secret Santa gift?
- Jamie Tartt: I didn't know I had to. The email said "Secret Santa". I didn't want to ruin the surprise, did I?
- Keeley Jones: I bet your breath doesn't smell that bad. Come on.
- [Phoebe turns away]
- Keeley Jones: Phoebe, it's me. Let me have a smell. Come on.
- [Phoebe leans forward and breathes in Keeley's face; Keeley immediately turns away, gagging]
- Keeley Jones: Oh, wow...
- Roy Kent: Oy! She feels bad enough!
- Keeley Jones: I'm so sorry. I really tried.
- Roy Kent: It cannot be that bad.
- Phoebe: [hiding her face] Go away!
- Roy Kent: Phoebe...
- Phoebe: I'm a monster!
- Roy Kent: I've spent the last 20 years in locker rooms with men. I promise you I've smelled worse.
- Keeley Jones: [quietly] I don't know.
- Roy Kent: Come on.
- [Phoebe hesitates, then leans forward and breathes in Roy's face; Roy's eye begins to twitch]
- Roy Kent: [strained] I think you might be dying.
- Ted Lasso: What about you, Keeley? What are you guys getting into?
- Keeley Jones: Roy and I are celebrating a new tradition that I'm calling "Sexy Christmas".
- Ted Lasso, Leslie Higgins, Coach Beard, Nathan Shelley: Ooh!
- Keeley Jones: It's not gonna be like that. It's gonna be a swinging...
- Ted Lasso, Leslie Higgins, Coach Beard, Nathan Shelley: Ooh!
- Keeley Jones: A swinging Sinatra, Vegas-y type Christmas for adults where we get all dressed up, and we sip on martinis, sit by the fire.
- [smirking]
- Keeley Jones: And then it's gonna be like that.