- Uncle Jesse Duke: [narrating] Little did Vance know how right he was. The wrong folks was out there, just itchin' to get their evil paws on that American satellite.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: I hate to tell you this, Boss, but we're plum outta gas.
- Boss Hogg: Outta gas? That's the last time I steal a car from folks as careless as them Dukes!
- [takes off his hat and hits Rosco with it repeatedly]