Parks and Recreation (TV Series)
Pawnee Zoo (2009)
Amy Poehler: Leslie Knope
Photos
Quotes
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Ron Swanson : Okay, here's the situation:
Leslie Knope : Your parents went away on a week's vacation. They left the keys to the brand new Porsche. Would they mind? Umm, well, of course not.
[Tom begins beatboxing]
Leslie Knope : I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends. I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood. Well, maybe I shouldn't. Yeah, of course I should. Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot. I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block. That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking. I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking.
[Picks up Jerry's phone, then hangs it up]
Leslie Knope : The sun roof was open, the music was high. And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh. She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far. I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car. I can't believe it, I just made a mistake. Well, parents are the same no matter time nor place. So to you all the kids all across the land. Take it from me, parents just don't understand.
[Donna and Jerry applaud]
Leslie Knope : Thank you, thank you. Just a little something I know. So what's up?
Ron Swanson : Uh, someone is on fire in Ramset Park. They need you to get down there right away.
Leslie Knope : Oh my God...
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April Ludgate : Leslie!
Leslie Knope : Hey!
April Ludgate : Hey! This is my boyfriend Derek, and this is Derek's boyfriend Ben.
Derek : Hi.
Leslie Knope : Hey! Oh. Wait, sorry. What's the situation?
April Ludgate : What do you mean?
Leslie Knope : How does this work?
April Ludgate : Derek is gay but he's straight for me and he's gay for Ben and Ben's really gay for Derek. And I hate Ben.
Derek : It's not that complicated.
Ben : No.
Leslie Knope : Oh. Yeah. Sure.
[In confessional]
Leslie Knope : The thing about youth culture is I don't understand it.
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Jerry Gergich : Leslie, this guy from the Pawnee gay bar sent you a cake.
Leslie Knope : Pawnee has a gay bar?
Ron Swanson : Yeah, The Bulge.
[Jerry and Tom give Ron a strange look]
Ron Swanson : It's behind my house.
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Donna Meagle : Hey. Why are you all dolled up?
Leslie Knope : Oh, it's a long story. I'm the guest of honor at this gay bar tonight. I guess gay men are starting to like me. I dunno, I guess they think I'm fabulous or something.
Donna Meagle : Well, you look good, girl. You gonn' turn somebody tonight.
Leslie Knope : [laughs and walks away]
Leslie Knope : That was, hands down, the best interaction I've ever had with Donna!