Jeff Dunham: Self - Guest, Ventriloquist Perfomer

Quotes 

• [performing with Peanut] 

  Peanut : [seeing Paul]  Oh, my God!

  Jeff Durham : What?

  Peanut : Does Superman know Lex Luthor works here?

  [laughter] 

• [about performing in Salt Lake City] 

  Peanut : It was kind of a sad trip to Salt Lake City, because apparently there at the local zoo, they've been having trouble with their giraffe population.

  Jeff Durham : Yes.

  Peanut : And the day before we got there, they lost another giraffe.

  Jeff Durham : Yes.

  Peanut : Apparently, this giraffe got sick, collapsed, threw up, and died.

  Jeff Durham : Very sad. Nothing funny about that.

  [Peanut turns to stare at Jeff] 

  Jeff Durham : [worried]  You found something funny with that?

  [Peanut nods] 

  Jeff Durham : What?

  Peanut : The throwing up part.

  [laughter] 

  Jeff Durham : How is that funny?

  Peanut : A giraffe, throwing up? Think about it! It would take for*ever*!

  [Peanut pantomimes throwing up, turning his head to the side, downwards, backwards, and finally pantomimes looking at a watch] 

  Peanut : You could get your taxes done in the time he's finished!