- Morticia: Gomez, darling, do you think this is a good idea?
- Gomez: What do you mean, Tish?
- Morticia: Well, you know how much I love the sound of flesh hitting porcelain, but wouldn't you rather share the tub with our pet alligator Snappy?
- Gomez: You're right, Tish. I haven't been eaten alive since Uncle Zombie's last midnight snacking frenzy.
- Gomez: [to Lurch] Well, Fester may not be able to fill your shoes, he'll be able to sleep in 'em and bask in your foot odor.
- Granny Frump: Well, Lurch is just one in a long line of famous Lurches throughout the ages. Watch...
- [waves her hand across her crystal ball]
- Granny Frump: ... there was Robin Lurch...
- Lurch: Ugh...
- Granny Frump: The Three Lurchketeers...
- Lurch: Ugh...
- Granny Frump: And of course Abraham Lurch.
- Lurch: [louder and longer than before] Uuuugh!