Four Lions (2010)

Nigel Lindsay: Barry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barry : [car breaks down]  Fuck, Fuck, fuck it!

  Omar : Did you fix this then, Barry?

  Barry : Yes, I fixed it!

  Omar : Did ya?

  Barry : It's the parts... they're Jewish.

  Omar : What parts in a car are Jewish?

  [pause] 

  Omar : Hmm?

  Fessal : Spark plugs.

  Barry : Spark plugs! Jews invented spark plugs to control global traffic.

• Barry : Bollocks, I'm a liability! I am the Invisible Jihadi! They seek him here, they seek him there, but here's not there, he's blowing up your slag sister!

  Omar : Invisible? Right. Like the time you got on the local news for baking a Twin Towers cake and leaving it at the synagogue on 9/11?

  Barry : That is part of the plan! Hide in plain sight, you mug!

• Barry : You can't win an argument just by being right!

• Hassan : [Raps]  I'm the Mujahideen and I'm making a scene / Now you's gonna feel what the boom-boom means / It's like Tupac said, "When I die, I'm not dead"/ We are the martyrs, you're just smashed tomatoes / Allahu Akbar!

  [Audience screams as Hassan detonate his suicide belt releasing party streams] 

  Barry : [Silent from audience]  Mashallah, brother

  [Murmurs from the audience] 

  Hassan : [Looking at the audiences]  Oh, what, man? Come on. What? Just cos I'm Muslim, you thought it was real?

• Barry : What's with the gun?

  Waj : Proper replica man.

  Barry : It's too small man!

  Waj : Not too small, brother. Big hands!

• Barry : [shouting as he sticks his head through from the boot of the car]  Alright Omar! I'm letting you go to Pakistan! My unit, stays here! But my unit's the main unit!

  Omar : Barry, shut up, mate! 'Cause I tell ya, your little brain cell might go off now and again, but if you hands even go to move, if you try to set up the Islamic State of Tinsley again, going to university lectures, opening your big mouth, buying some more silver nitrate from Amazon... I'm gonna rip your plugs out!

  Barry : Not if you're not here, you won't!

  [Waj shoves Barry's head back through into the boot of the car] 

• Barry : You just killed the special needs donkey!

• Barry : You can fuck her, but you can't kill her? What's wrong with you?

• Barry : You'll end up on YouTube, blowing Lassie in a ditch!

• Barry : Why has she got her hands on her face?

  Waj : Because she's got a beard

• Barry : They'll pump you full of Viagra. Make you fuck a dog!

• Barry : [after starting a discussion about training camps]  I object to the term training camps!

• Hassan : You made him wee in his own gob?

  Omar : What is wrong with you, bro?

  Barry : Submission... it's the rules of submission.

  Waj : It felt really bad, brother. It's not too tricky once you get the aim right, but... it just feels like really proper wrong. All the wee splashing off your teeth... .

• Barry : What if you get caught? I'm not going down just because you can't take a drill in the kneecap. They'll crack you like baby's fingers! They'll pump you full of viagra, make you f**k a dog! You'll end up on YouTube, blowing Lassie in a ditch!

• Barry : You're worse than the specially trained rapists they use in Guantanamo!

• Barry : No, don't sweat it, bro! He's been tested!

  Hassan : Yeah! Yeah, he tested me, man!

  Omar : How did he do that, then?

  Hassan : He made me do that bean-thing, man.

  Omar : Oh? What "bean-thing"?

  Hassan : You know, where you put a bean up the end of your knob, man.

• Barry : The feds can track your phone even if the battery's out.

  Fessal : Really?

  Barry : Really. They can see you underground.

  Waj : Can they see you if you're not there?

  Barry : Where's there?

• Barry : Look, the way to stop the feds tracking you is very simple. You eat your SIM card. Get your SIM cards out. You remove your SIM card and - yes?

  Waj : Can I cook mine?

  Barry : No, you must eat it raw.

• Barry : I am the most Al-Qaeda one here!

• Barry : You realize if I don't come to Pakistan with you, bro, Islam is finished!

• Omar : Alright, frog him.

  Barry : No! No frogging!

  Omar : Frog him in back!

  Barry : Omar, we agreed, no frogging!

  Omar : That was before you swallowed the key!

  Barry : [Choking]  We said no frogging!

  Omar : Every time, I've had to frog you!

• Barry : Alright, Omar, I'm letting you go to Pakistan! My unit stays here! But MY unit is the MAIN unit!

• Hassan : Liquid peroxide.

  Fessal : Three year's of stockpiling.

  Barry : How'd you get it all?

  Fessal : A wholesale shop down the road.

  Barry : What? All from the same shop? Yeah? You mug, you'll get us nicked!

  Fessal : No. I use different voices each time I go in.

• Barry : What? You can f**k her but you can't kill her?