- Yakko Warner: [Seeing that no one is buying products] Do you think opening a souvenir stall in an age where tourism doesn't exist might've been a mistake?
- Dot Warner: [Using a light pointer to distract the attacking tigers who play with the light] I guess I'm just a cat person.
- Wakko Warner: [Reading the end of the long notice] "... hereby declaring your firstborn the legal property of the software provider in perpetuity"? Oh, that's fine. We can't have children anyway. We're like mules.
- Nero, Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: [Nero sings] I am the very model of An ancient Roman emperor / I overspend and overtax And overthrow my treasurer / I marry family members from my cousin to my step-sister / I'm always right, I'm never wrong, Just ask this neutral Senator. / Through sound investigation By Praetorian inquisitors, / My mother and my brother Were revealed to be conspirators / But mother dear's no longer here, This bust helps me remember her. / I am the very model of an ancient Roman emperor. / Yakko: He fiddles while the city burns, / He rules with fear tyrannical / Dot: He's lazy, brutish, and ill-willed, / He thinks that he's infallible / Wakko: His hands are small, / He steals from Gaul, / His writing's ungrammatical / Warneruses: He's making Roma great again, / Dogmatic, and fantastical / He's gormless and irascible, / Tragic and autocratical / Maniacal and radical, / Positions problematical / Takes endless golf sabbaticals, / His tweets are unsyntactical / Yakko
- [pauses the song to say]
- Nero, Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: Um, we're still talking about Nero, right? / He's a narcissist, a petulant, / Unscrupulous embezzler / He is the very model of An ancient Roman emperor. /
- [Nero approaches threateningly]
- Nero, Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: Yakko
- [speaking]
- Nero, Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: You know? I'm starting to think he didn't like our verse.
- Yakko Warner: [Reading the fax he just received] I have here a DMCA takedown notice demanding this unauthorized parody of Conan the Barbarian be removed from this episode immediately.
- Nils: Let me peruse.
- [reads the fax]
- Nils: It's watertight.
- [the barbarians grumble disappointingly]
- Crier: [after Wakko shows a watering globe containing minatures of mummified citizens with the ash from the eruption of Mount Vesuvius] Actually, that's an anachronism. Mount Vesuvius doesn't erupt until 79 AD, another 11 years from now.
- [Tosses the globe over his shoulder so it shatters]
- Crier: Lazy writing!
- Crier: [Commenting on Nero's playing of the violin] Actually, the fiddle won't be invented for another 800 years. You should be playing the lyre. This episode is barely watchable.
- [Scowls as he looks straight at the screen]
- John Cena: [Trying again to make a joke] So, this Medusa broad has got to stop objectifying people. Am I right?
- Crier: Actually, Warnerus is a second declension noun. So, the plural for the nominative case would be Warner...
- [Before he can finish Dot shines the light pointer on him and he's immediately attacked by the tigers]