- Sandy Kominsky: How come you never remarried?
- Roz: Oh, you really want to know?
- [Sandy nods]
- Roz: . Well, Sandy, sweetheart, I never fell out of love with you.
- Sandy Kominsky: Really?
- Roz: No. I'm fucking with you.
- Sandy Kominsky: Where is he?
- Mindy Kominsky: In his shoe room.
- Sandy Kominsky: Showroom?
- Mindy Kominsky: His shoe room. He makes his own shoes.
- Sandy Kominsky: Are you still fucking with me?
- Mindy Kominsky: No. It's his hobby.
- Sandy Kominsky: My future son-in-law is a cobbler?
- Mindy Kominsky: My second stepmother was a junkie and a porn star.
- Sandy Kominsky: Methadone and soft-core.
- Sandy Kominsky: Okay, first of all, the estate in not worth one hundred million.
- Phoebe: It's not.
- Sandy Kominsky: Closer to one-fifty.
- Robby: [Gulps] Is... is that a guesstimate?
- Sandy Kominsky: No. And once again, I have been instructed to give it all to charity if, in my judgment, neither of you seem to be mature enough to inherit.
- Robby: Which way do you think it's leaning?
- Sandy Kominsky: At the moment? Mmm... American Cancer Society, Red Cross, uh, maybe, uh, Jews for Jesus, you know.
- Morgan Freeman: [pulling bullet from corpse during autopsy] .32 calibre, what do you think?
- Margaret: Full metal jacket, steel core, armour piercing...
- Morgan Freeman: It went through that car door like an incontinent Republican in a gender-neutral bathroom.