Big Mouth (TV Series)

Poop Madness (2020)

Nick Kroll: Nick Birch, Maury the Hormone Monster, Coach Steve Steve, Lola Skumpy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nick Birch : Okay, good time.

  Andrew Glouberman : [shouting to him]  YOU SUCK!

  Maury the Hormone Monster : Easy Andrew, Nick's already bombing; you're fucking a dead horse. Sure, it feels great, but it's not right.

  Andrew's Shit : No, that guy's an asshole. He fucked your wife Missy!

  Andrew Glouberman : Well, sort of. Yeah, that's the essence of what occurred.

• Andrew Glouberman : Hey, Soup, you wanna be funny? Show us your tiny prick!

  [campers laughing out loud when Nick was shocked] 

  Jessi Glaser : Jesus, Andrew. What is your problem?

  Andrew Glouberman : [strictly]  Read the tea leaves, honey. That bowl of soup fucked my wife!

  Jessi Glaser : [walks away]  I think I'm gonna switch seats.

  Connie : Let your GUARD down, Nicky. Be Vulnerable! People like that.

  Nick Birch : [to the audience]  Hey guys, maybe comedy's not what you're looking for tonight. Maybe I'll try something a little bit different.

  Nick Birch : [singing and playing guitar]  Hey, Mr. Man. What about me? Am I a bowl of soup or a human being? Cause when I look in the mirror, I'll tell you what I see.

  Andrew Glouberman : [interrupting]  He's sees soup! Cause he's a big fat bowl of fucking soup, the idiot!

  Seth Goldberg : [when people were bullying Nick]  That's a good joke!

  Boy with glasses : Stinky-ass bitch!

• Nick Birch : Oh god, where am I?

  Tito the Anxiety Mosquito : Your LOST in the WOODS! I think this is how Berman's brother died.

  Nick Birch : Oh, I can't believe they were so many jokes about BERMAN!

  Tito the Anxiety Mosquito : [nervous]  And then you sang!

  Nick Birch : Fucking CONNIE told me to be vulnerable.

  Tito the Anxiety Mosquito : It was humiliating! Andrew's gonna tell everyone it's glow what a LOSER you are!

  Nick Birch : Oh that's totally what he's going to do!

  Tito the Anxiety Mosquito : [nervous when screaming]  What if they call you soup... IN EIGHTH GRADE!

  Tito the Anxiety Mosquito : [when Nick saw lockers with the word Soup]  YOU'LL HAVE NO FRIENDS! You'll never get LAID. You'll be an old man with an UNTOUCHED dusty little DICK!

• Nick Birch : Why are you all so mean? And why is Berman still here if his brother's dead? He should be home with his family!

  [the campers were gasping] 

  Berman : My mom said Eli would've wanted me to finish out the summer.

  Seth Goldberg : [crowd booing to Nick]  Now he's crying.

  Andrew Glouberman : Get off the stage, Soup!

  Connie : RUN, sugar! RUN INTO THE WOODS!

  Jessi Glaser : [when Nick runs away crying]  Oh, Nick.

• Andrew Glouberman : I've missed you, too!

  Nick Birch : Aw, give me a hug.

  Tito the Anxiety Mosquito : Nooooooooo!

  Andrew's Shit : [crying out loud when he fades away]  Oh No! I'm losing my grip. Oh my god! Motherfuckeeeeeeerrrrrrs!

• Nick Birch : Andrew?

  Andrew Glouberman : Why, Nick? Why did you kiss Missy?

  Tito the Anxiety Mosquito : Maybe it's because you're SELFISH.

  Nick Birch : No, I'm... I'm just a fierce advocate for my own happiness.

  Andrew Glouberman : And why did you make fun of my DOPE hats?

  Nick Birch : I stand my ground on that one.

  Andrew Glouberman : FUCK YOU, THE HATS RULE! You're the condescending prick. And we'll never be friends AGAIN.

  Nick Birch : [screams]  NOOOOOO!

• Maury the Hormone Monster : Why can't you just sh*t in the bunk?

  Andrew Glouberman : Everyone's hooking up in there, and you know I get caca-shy!

  Andrew's Shit : I'm not going anywhere, you fucking bird brain!

  Maury the Hormone Monster : Strain, Andrew. Push all the blood to your face!

  Andrew's Shit : If you motherfuckers try and shit me, I'LL PULL OUT YOUR F***ING SPINAL CORD!

  Andrew Glouberman : Oh, God, Maury.

  [strains very hard but doesn't how to do it] 

  Andrew Glouberman : I'm scared. Maybe I can just hold it in forever

  Maury the Hormone Monster : You can't, Andrew! You'll go mad! I think it's time for me to pop your dookie bubble. Shout-out to Bobby and Whitney.

  Andrew Glouberman : [his stomach was growling]  Oh, fuck! Okay, I'll try anything. Just hurry up.

  Maury the Hormone Monster : All right, Andrew, I think I--

  [grunts and Andrew's poop cuts his throat] 

  Andrew Glouberman : [Maury picks up the knife in blood]  Maury! How did he get a knife?

  Andrew's Shit : I'm a pile of shit with nothing to lose!

  [when Maury's throat was cut] 

  Andrew Glouberman : Oh, no, Maury. Stay with me. No! Shh, just hold it in. No, just don't let the blood out--

  [when Andrew hears the poop cackling and his body was decayed] 

  Andrew Glouberman : [sobbing in fright]  Why are you doing this to me?

  Andrew's Shit : You made me! I am the ugly hate inside of you, and I'll keep getting bigger and BIGGER until WE ARE ONE!

  [maniacal laughing] 

  Andrew Glouberman : [Andrew wails]  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!