- Sen. John McCain: Jim, I would like to take this opportunity to make my opponent a proposal: effective immediately, each of us suspend our campaigns, and instead hold a series of three pie-eating contests. Next Tuesday, Kansas City, lemon meringue; Saturday, Jacksonville, blueberry; the following week, in Dallas, coconut custard.
- Jim Lehrer: Senator Obama?
- Sen. Barack Obama: Jim, uh... I don't see the value of this. Maybe the blueberry.
- Amy Poehler: Scientists reported this week that a newly-discovered chicken-sized dinosaur that lived in North America survived by eating termites. The scientists arrived at this conclusion using a technique they call 'guessing'.