- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: That's it? You're not going to argue why this case is beneath you?
- Dr. Gregory House: No point. I'm in an elevator, I can't run away.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You can't run away anyway.
- Dr. Gregory House: That's just mean.
- Dr. Chris Taub: [after a patient dies] Did Chase test for the biliary tumor?
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Said it was negative. Said she was stable when he left her. We should've found more time. We should've...
- Dr. Chris Taub: House is gonna kill us.
- Dr. Gregory House: Slowly.
- [Taub and Kutner turn around to see House standing behind them]
- Dr. Gregory House: And painfully. You're not only idiots, you're frauds. Fraudulent idiots. Fraudulent idiotic killers, as it turns out.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Any idea why we're getting half as many requests for you as usual?
- Dr. Gregory House: Democrats' health care plan?
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cuddy as she's using the phone] Have you seen my balls?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to the phone] Can you hold on a second?
- Dr. Gregory House: My balls. Have you seen my balls? Giant one and the red one.
- Dr. Chris Taub: [after Kutner tells him about an online business he's running] You're insane with two days to live.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: House is never going to find out.
- Dr. Chris Taub: He will if I tell him, or you cut me in for 30% and I keep your secret safe.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: That's blackmail.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Yes.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [to the phone] I'm gonna call you from my cell.
- [hangs up the receiver]
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Then I will come back in here.
- [to her cellphone as she's passing House]
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Hey! Yeah, I just had to explain to him that I had his balls and he's not getting them back.
- Dr. Gregory House: [as Thirteen is leaving for her appointment] Does Foreman schedule your appointment by numbers on the clock or just by when I'm in the middle of something?
- Thirteen: Sorry if I'm dying at a bad time for you.
- Thirteen: [to Foreman] I lied to you the other night. That woman in the waiting room, she didn't freak me out about my future. She freaked me out about my past.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Your mother. Must've been horrible watching her die.
- Thirteen: I wanted her to die. She just... yelled so much. And for no reason. Just screamed at me in front of my friends. My father tried to explain to me that her brain was literally shrinking, that she didn't mean it. That it was the disease, but I didn't care. I hated her. I never said good-bye andd she died with me hating her.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: [as Emmy is exercising for a test] You okay? Trouble breathing?
- Emmy: No, I feel fine. Why?
- [collapses]
- Dr. Chris Taub: No pulse. This isn't asthma.
- Dr. James Wilson: [to Cuddy] Don't take his office and pretend like all you're doing is taking his office. You chose his room because you want to be there, but sitting near him and hoping isn't gonna get it done.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Leave here now or I'll take your office.
- Dr. James Wilson: No, you won't.
- [leaves]
- Dr. Chris Taub: Why aren't we doing this in your office?
- Dr. Gregory House: Obviously, because it would be stupid to do this in an office with no furniture. Cuddy overreacted to my overreaction.
- [seeing a photo of a pretty fitness trainer]
- Dr. Gregory House: Wow! Muscles and curves. My penis is so confused.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: What's Cuddy doing in your office?
- Dr. Gregory House: Other than throwing off the feng shui with her ass that faces all eight sides of the bagua at once?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: These walls aren't soundproof.
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm well aware.
- Dr. Chris Taub: [to Emmy] The test will measure the amount of time it'll take this electrical impulse to travel along your nerves.
- Emmy: Will it hurt?
- Dr. Chris Taub: No. Give me your arm.
- Emmy: You can ask nicely.
- Dr. Chris Taub: I learned at med school you don't actually cure with kindness.
- Emmy: You're right. I'm a hypocrite, but I don't have a choice.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Not really interested in your rationalizations.
- Emmy: If I'm open about the gastric bypass, no one would listen to me anymore.
- Dr. Chris Taub: You mean no one would buy your DVDs.
- Emmy: It's not about the DVD sales. I'm helping people. My clients are making themselves healthy. They're living better lives. Can you honestly tell me you've never done anything hypocritical? I'm sure you had good reasons.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Give me your arm... please?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: The labs are back and there's no sign of steroid use. Can someone please read her file?
- Dr. Gregory House: Can someone please stop backseat differentialating?
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Her gastric bypass procedure could cause...
- Dr. Gregory House: Forget the bypass. Treat her like a fat girl.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Should we treat her like a 60-year-old Asian man too? She's not fat.
- Dr. Gregory House: Not on the outside, but on the inside, she's still tons of fun.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Other doctors actually use their offices for crazy stuff like seeing patients. Not throwing a ball against the wall and calling it work.
- Dr. James Wilson: It's his process. That ball saves lives.
- Emmy: [to Taub] If surgery could somehow make you taller, wouldn't you do it?
- Dr. Chris Taub: Sure, but I wouldn't call a meeting of the Lollipop Guild and tell them they can grow if they work real hard at it.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cuddy] You're not stopping me for medical reasons. You're stopping me because you have the hots for me.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You're still here because you have the hots for me.
- Dr. Gregory House: Evidenced by the fact that I'm the one who moved into your office.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's the biggest office and I'm not the one that destroyed...
- Dr. Gregory House: Why are you dressed like that? Why do you try so hard to get my attention? Are you screwing with me?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Are you screwing with me?
- Dr. Gregory House: That depends on your answer.
- [House and Cuddy stare at each other]
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Everybody knows this is going somewhere. I think we're supposed to kiss now.
- Dr. Gregory House: We already did that.
- [puts his hand on Cuddy's breast]
- Dr. Gregory House: It seemed like the logical next step.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Really? I'm an idiot for being surprised.