- Dan Humphrey: You called Yale? You sent that blast in to Gossip Girl to get revenge against Blair? I believed in you... all your talk about integrity and ideals.
- Rachel Carr: My ideals? Blair spread false rumors about us, blackmailed the entire school, and turned my job and career into a sham with no repercussions. She's a self-absorbed psychopath with no remorse, regret, shame or guilt for her actions.
- Dan Humphrey: My God... you're just as bad as she is. No, you're worse! Blair is a high school student. You're an adult. She has her whole life ahead of her. You ruined her dream to get into the college of her choice. You need to fix things with Blair.
- Rachel Carr: Absolutely not! Blair got what she deserved. She's had it coming for a long time.
- Dan Humphrey: [sighs] You know how you felt when you told me that all your hopes and ideals were crushed? Well, congratulations. You've just crushed mine.
- Nate Archibald: [to the director] You want feelings? I... I... I hate these clothes, and I hate this play! I hate pretentious ass hats who try and steal other people's girlfriends! In fact, I might just spontaneously punch one next time you get into my face!
- Blair Waldorf: [barged into dressing room where Nelly is trying to get out of her weighty costume] No, leave it. She'll need all the padding she can get.
- Nelly Yuki: What is your problem?
- Blair Waldorf: My problem is a two-faced, four-eyed devious little snipe in a fat suit.
- Vanessa Abrams: [re Little Foxes to director they're trying to impress] She made me see It, like, what, three times. She's obsessed with Bette Davis.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [can only quote the Kim Carnes song] Yeah, Bette Davis... I, uh, I love her eyes. Her hair is Harlow gold.
- [that last line said as if singing the song]
- Dan Humphrey: Hey, Blair. It's Rachel who's been messing with you. And... we had sex in the costume closet, so you can... do whatever you want with that.
- Blair Waldorf: Student sex in the costume closet? Is that what they mean by heartland values?
- [no answer from Rachel]
- Blair Waldorf: I at least expect a denial.
- Rachel Carr: No.
- [voice quivering:]
- Rachel Carr: I don't deny it.
- Blair Waldorf: Well, the Headmistress told me my fate at Yale is sealed. So the question is how do I make your fate as bleak as mine?
- Rachel Carr: I don't know what happened to me, I... I don't know what I've become... I'm... so sorry.
- Blair Waldorf: [considers this for a long time] Well, your punishment is... just... just live with it. I should know. It's not easy.
- Vanessa Abrams: [to the director] Wow. That was a whole new level of fake. I'm gonna go look for my boyfriend.
- [walks off]
- Vanessa Abrams: Good job!
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Poor Miss Iowa. Caught playing Mrs. Robinson. Looks like the teacher's getting schooled.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [finds pensive Blair at bar nursing her martini] B, I've been looking everywhere for you.
- [Blair regards her momentarily, then just looks down at her drink again]
- Serena van der Woodsen: I know it was Rachel that sent the Gossip Girl blast. I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
- Blair Waldorf: Why would you?
- Serena van der Woodsen: What do you mean?
- Blair Waldorf: Believe me. Nine times out of ten I would have sent the blast. It's like you said, betrayal is in my nature.
- Serena van der Woodsen: That's not fair to you .
- Blair Waldorf: Spare me, Serena. I don't need a speech telling me what a good person I am. I know I'm not. Yale kicking me out is the karma I've earned.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Blair...
- Blair Waldorf: Could you please leave? I wanna be alone.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [gets up] You're still my best friend.
- [walks off]