Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Damn You, Eggs Benedict (2008)
Angus T. Jones: Jake Harper
Photos
Quotes
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[Jake is throwing up after drinking]
Charlie Harper : You know, your body is sending you a message.
Jake Harper : Yeah. Next time, I need to chew my food properly. Look at that shrimp! You could wash it off and serve it again!
Charlie Harper : It's also telling you that alcohol is poison.
Jake Harper : Then, why do you drink?
Charlie Harper : Because I have things inside of me that I need killed.
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Charlie Harper : Let me put it this way: alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain cells.
Jake Harper : Yeah, so?
Charlie Harper : I rest my case.
Jake Harper : What case?
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Jake Harper : Man, I thought you were cool.
Charlie Harper : You know what makes me cool? Not giving a crap about what you think!
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Jake Harper : [slurring on the phone] Hey, Uncle Charlie! It's me, Jakey! I'm drunk. How are you? Are you with a woman? Does she have big ones?
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Charlie Harper : How would you like your eggs?
Jake Harper : In an Easter basket.
Charlie Harper : Scrambled it is.
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Charlie Harper : [Charlie goes to pick up Jake, who has gotten drunk at the mall with one of his friends] So, where's your friend?
Jake Harper : Gabe? He ditched me when I started throwin' up, the bat rastard.
