- Michael Scott: Okay, we need a golden-ticket idea to get us out of this mess. Yes?
- [Pam has her hand raised]
- Pam Beesly: Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later?
- Jim Halpert: Good one.
- Andy Bernard: Every compliment has to be backhanded. "Oh, I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair."
- Pam Beesly: That's psychotic. Do guys actually do that?
- Jim Halpert: Guys with girlfriends don't.
- Kevin Malone: I don't like getting advice from more than one person at a time. I'm a textbook over-thinker.
- [arguing with Jim and Pam]
- Andy Bernard: Put your heart out there, it's liable to just turn into this blackened, carbon brick, where it has barbecue sauce of shame and rage. And two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that.
- Dwight Schrute: Knock-knock.
- Michael Scott: Who's there?
- Dwight Schrute: K.G.B.
- Michael Scott: K.G.B. wh...
- Dwight Schrute: [smacks Michael] WE will ask the questions!
- Michael Scott: What the HELL was that?
- Michael Scott: We think a lot alike. Sometimes you will think something, and I will say what you're thinking.
- Dwight Schrute: Okay, what am I thinking right now?
- Michael Scott: Nacho chips.
- Dwight Schrute: No. I was thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body.
- [as David Wallace congratulates Dwight for the Golden Ticket idea and Michael tries to get Dwight to admit it's not his]
- Jim Halpert: You're talking to Dwight Schrute, the biggest "Wonka" fan I know. I mean, you've been talking about that movie for years.
- Michael Scott: What?
- Jim Halpert: [to Dwight] You know what, I even made fun of you when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea, and for that I apologize.
- Dwight Schrute: Apology rejected.
- Michael Scott: Why do you have a diary?
- Dwight Schrute: [whispering] To keep secrets from my computer.
- Michael Scott: I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy, so...
- Jim Halpert: [interrupting] Okay, well, I lost a ton of money today. And I have a mortgage, so I'm a little pissed, too.
- Michael Scott: Thank you. Jim is with me.
- Jim Halpert: Absolutely not. I'm mad at you.
- Michael Scott: Well, you know what, Jim, it is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.
- Creed Bratton: That's not why.
- Michael Scott: I have written these things because it is my responsibility as manager of this branch to profiligate great ideas.
- Jim Halpert: Well, all I'm saying is it's a first date, so just keep a respectful distance.
- Kevin Malone: Right.
- Pam Beesly: I don't think Jim means to say that you shouldn't touch her.
- Jim Halpert: No, that is what I mean.
- Pam Beesly: Shush.
- Michael Scott: There is no movie called Willy Wonka! It's called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!
- Pam Beesly: It's actually based on the book called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
- Michael Scott: Pam, knock-knock.
- Pam Beesly: [Whispering] I'm on the phone.
- Michael Scott: [Also whispering] I know you are, knock-knock.
- Pam Beesly: [On the phone] You can fax it over. Yeah, five, seven, zero, five, five, five...
- Michael Scott: [Trying to distract Pam] Four, nine, one.
- Pam Beesly: Zero, one.
- Michael Scott: Seven, four.
- Pam Beesly: Seven, five.
- Michael Scott: Flive, line.
- Pam Beesly: Zero, one. Seven, five. Than you, bye-bye.
- [Hangs up]
- Pam Beesly: That really makes us look unprofessional.
- Michael Scott: They will never know it was me doing it. Here we go, knock-knock.
- Pam Beesly: [Exasperated pause] Who's there?
- Michael Scott: Buda.
- Pam Beesly: Buda who?
- Michael Scott: Buda this bread for me, won't you?
- [Leaves a loaf of bread and a piece of butter on the table]