- Jack gets the writers to come up with a name for GE's new pocket microwave, Liz unsuccessfully tries to get out of jury duty, Dr. Spaceman gives Jenna pills to help her stay awake, and Tracy deliberately tries to get fined by the FCC.
- Open with Liz returning from a compartment store with several bags of stuff to help finally get herself organized. "It's a new beginning," she tells Kenneth before being run over by a bike messenger. "Or...maybe this is going to be the worst day ever."
At the office a stressed-out Liz asks the staff to "be cool" for the next 12 hours. Immediately Frank walks by in his boxer shorts. Cerie tells Liz she has been called in for jury duty.
Jack calls Liz to his office where he is reprimanding Tracy and Jenna for their actions during a live broadcast of the St. Patrick's Day parade. Jenna, who has been working on her film (kinda sorta inspired by Janis Joplin's life, but different enough to avoid a lawsuit) along with the show, fell asleep on camera while Tracy yelled an obscenity. "Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day?" Jack asks. "Is nothing sacred?"
The FCC is fining Tracy $50,000. Jack asks Liz for a calm week since GE is about to launch its new portable microwave. Liz is thrilled that he listened to her idea for the invention, and especially tickled when she sees that it includes a setting for ham.
Liz sends Jenna to Dr. Spaceman for help with her sleeping. Spaceman gives her pills used to keep people awake under all circumstances. He has thus far only tested them on rats.
Liz leaves for jury duty with a plan to be quickly dismissed: a Princess Leia outfit and several copies of Playgirl magazine. She tells the gang that nobody is in charge while she's gone.
On her way out of the building Tracy tells Liz he has learned all he has to do is pay the FCC and he can say whatever he wants on TV. Jenna shows up frighteningly wired from her pills and Frank again is without pants. Liz gives the three a speech about how important it is for them to be "normal sauce" for two hours until she gets back.
Liz's plan to get kicked off the jury doesn't work.
Spaceman's lab rats are drinking lots of water and we see Jenna gulping down a huge bottle herself. Jack asks the writers to help him name the new microwave since the old name, the BiteNuker, ended up being offensive to the French and Dutch.
Liz will be serving on an arson trial expected to last several weeks. She calls Kenneth who tells her things are getting crazy in her absence: Tracy cursed on Martha Stewart's show and Jenna has been drinking out of the toilets. Kenneth tells her it's because she didn't put anyone in charge, and Liz tells him to try not to let anything else bad happen before she can get back. Kenneth interprets this to mean she's putting him in charge. His first order of business is to stand up and order all menstruating women to go home immediately.
Spaceman's rats have been scratching the sides of their enclosure. During a scene of her movie Jenna can't stop clawing at a window on set.
Liz returns to the office on break and is told Jack has pulled the staff up to his office, where there are fewer foosballs, so they can come up with names for the microwaves. She has to write the next show by herself. Jack still doesn't have a name for the new product. He asks her for suggestions and she spitballs: The Small Wonder. The Micromate. The Porta-hottie. "If you're not going to take this seriously, then do your job," Jack says.
He tells her to talk to Tracy as advertisers are beginning to pull out due to his language. No advertisers, no "TGS." "I see you self-publishing your novel and...moving in with your parents?" Liz decides to take matters into her own hands.
Liz tells Tracy the show is in jeopardy unless he can find an advertiser willing to support his obscenities. Tracy decides to buy all the ad space himself.
In Jack's office, he informs the writers that all of their ideas were deemed offensive in some language, including English, calling out Frank. "They knew what a Hot Richard was?" he asks. So Jack decides to pick random letters out of a bag of Scrabble tiles, deciding to let fate choose a name. He pulls out the first three: V, A, and G.
The writers smirk. Jack decides to start over and pulls out two more: N and I.
"I have an idea. Why don't we put them all out at once?" Jack reaches into the bag and produces a handful of tiles, which he slams down on the table without arranging them. They magically read "HITLER."
"Why don't we take a break," Jack says.
Liz's trial is of a female manager at a Mailboxes Plus. The woman tells a Liz-like tale of unruly employees which eventually drove her to set fire to the building.
Kenneth ends up coming up with the best name for the microwave: The Funcooker. The TV is turned on and Jack sees the first of Tracy's ads.
At the courtroom the crazy arson woman talks to Liz as a guard is leading her off to her cell. She tells Liz that she plans to settle in for a sandwich and a nap, and brags that finally ridding herself of her employees means "I'm freer than you."
Dr. Spaceman's rats have died. About to begin filming a sketch, Jenna tells Kenneth her vision is beginning to narrow to a pinpoint. Spaceman sprints on set and starts grabbing Jenna, yelling at her to go to sleep. Tracy stands up and moons the camera, saying, "Check out my Funcooker." "That's where I heard it," Kenneth says.
A furious Liz shuts the staff in her office and stares wistfully at a box of matches. She lights one but thinks better of it, blowing out the match and tossing it behind her. This immediately ignites a pile of clothes in front of the door. The fire department arrives to put out the mini-blaze and the employees are now terrified of Liz. Liz's containers are ruined and Jack has been told by legal that he can't sell any of his microwaves. Jack suggests to Liz that since they've both had a spectacularly bad week that they should both go to their respective homes, open a bottle of wine and, handing her a Funcooker, suggests heating up some ham in the shower.
"It works in the shower?" she gasps, clutching it to her chest. "You know what? This really is the best day ever."
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