[
first lines]
Corey:
Only two more good mornings.
Sam:
Only one more day.
Corey:
We're so perfect.
Sam:
Immaculate.
Corey:
[
about Sam] See, she's an ice queen. You need a flamethrower to get inside that.
Sam:
Four days, 17 hours, 26 minutes, 31 seconds. That is when the world will end.
Agatha:
[
about Iraq Jack] He should've died up on that windmill.
Corey:
I was thinking we chop off his balls and stone him.
Sam:
Light him on fire if gas was wasn't so expensive.
Pastor John:
I used to be like you.
Corey:
What, you had a training bra?
Pastor John:
Not exactly. But when I was your age, I experienced things that made me feel like God didn't exist. Maybe you've experienced something like that too.
Sam:
You don't know anything about me.
Pastor John:
I can see that you're in pain.
Sam:
I'm alive.
Pastor John:
Is that how you see life?
Sam:
Till farts taste like cherries, yeah.
Corey:
What do you think God's farts taste like?
Sam:
Marshmallow Peeps.
Corey:
Why can't I touch you?
Billy:
'Cause we'll explode.
Jeremy:
This - This is - This is impossible!
Sam:
What? The fireworks?
Jeremy:
No. The tesseracts!
Pastor John:
You girls new in town?
Sam:
Just passing through.
Pastor John:
Well, you gonna be around a little while, you might as well stop and get some pizza at my Bible study. Lot of fun.
Corey:
Oh, I'm satanic.
[
gesturing to Sam]
Corey:
She's half-Jehovah, quarter Jew and a tiny bit retarded.
Pastor John:
Well, we're nondenominational. We accept all types, even those with horns.
[
last lines]
Randy:
Where you gonna go?
Sam:
Virginia.
Randy:
What's it like?
Sam:
Sucks.
[
At Randy's party, Jeremy loses his glasses]
Sam:
[
leans over and hands them to him]
Jeremy:
Right under my nose.
[
holding out her $20]
Jeremy:
I wanted to buy your lunch.
Sam:
That's sweet.
Jeremy:
I don't usually come to these kind of things.
Sam:
So, uh, why'd you come to this one?
Trudy:
This town used to be a decent place. Then came the drugs and anal sex.
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