- Meg Griffin: I want to be a vet when I grow up.
- Peter Griffin: Meg, we have been over this before. You are going to gain 150 pounds and write Ugly Betty Fan Fiction.
- Brian Griffin: [Brian is lying on the floor, after being severely beaten by Chris] OK someone needs to help me here.
- [Stewie approaches Brian, as he lays on the floor, and kicks him]
- Chris Griffin: [Chris and Anna are on their first date] You know Anna, when I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. And now, all I wanna do is show you my innermost self, but I'm afraid you'll reject me because you won't like what you see. Or, that you'll see my scrotum and see that it has a seam on it and then you'll think I'm made up of two different guys that were sewn together, 'cause that's what I think happened and...
- Anna: [places a finger on Chris' lips] Chris, I like you.
- [kisses him]
- Anna: You don't have to try so hard.
- Chris Griffin: I'm sorry. When I'm around a pretty girl, I get all worked up like a kid watching a toy commercial.
- Chris Griffin: Joe, I'm sure you have some fond memories, but I'd rather get sex advice from someone who isn't broken from the waist down.
- Chris Griffin: How do you like working at the vet?
- Anna: Oh, it's so rewarding. Ever since I was a little girl, I loved working with animals.
- Chris Griffin: Did you ever make it with one of the dogs?
- Chris Griffin: Yes, can I have two tickets? One man and one bitch who needs to do what I say.
- Anna: What? That's not funny, Chris.
- Chris Griffin: Here's your ticket. Pick that up!
- Anna: Chris, why are you acting like this?
- Chris Griffin: Pick that up and cook into something delicious or knit it into something that's useful to me!