- Steve Smith: I can't believe what this school is coming to under Lisa's leadership. Last week, I was at a mandatory pep rally, and they threatened to kick my ass because I wouldn't give them an "O." I mean, I just gave them a "G." What, am I made of letters?
- Steve Smith: We need to get to that door, but how? The stage is lousy with drama geeks.
- Barry Robinson: Actors killed Lincoln!
- Principal Lewis: [over the intercom] Word is, those nerds managed to put the slip on the drama geeks. Guess it's up to the stoners to take them down now. Lunch tomorrow will be fish sticks and tartar sauce.
- Steve Smith: [to his friends] If we're lucky, we might just take a few of them with us!
- [Steve and his friends face the angry mob, but they end up getting beat up by them]
- Steve Smith: We're not taking any of them with us!
- Tim Gunn: Has anybody seen that buffalo? If I'm gonna get his highlights in by tomorrow, I've got to get him in the chair now.
- Janet Lewis: [to Debbie] We're gonna destroy you, you fat cow!
- Tim Gunn: Where is this fat cow? I have some fresh new styles that can get any bovine ready for summer.
- Snot Lonstein: [to Steve after Debbie dumps him] You know what? You're better off without her. She's not fit enough to recalibrate your tricorder.
- Barry Robinson: Or fit enough to wear people clothes.
- Steve Smith: That's the same lame joke from the Web page.
- Barry Robinson: I mean I'm Barry.
- Steve Smith: [to Barry, Snot and Toshi] Do you have any idea what you've done? Because of you, I destroyed three innocent girls, lost Debbie and jammed laxatives arm-deep into a buffalo!
- Steve Smith: Principal Lewis. Thank God, we're saved.
- Principal Lewis: Sorry, Smith. I've ordered my administration to turn a blind eye to these proceedings.
- Janet Lewis: Thanks, Daddy.
- Steve Smith: Janet's your daughter? How come you never mentioned this before?
- Principal Lewis: Because I'm ashamed of her for more reasons than you can imagine. Still, that's my little girl, man.