Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Winky-Dink Time (2008)

Carrie Reichenbach: Alexis

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alexis : Shall we, uhm, take care of business before we get started?

  Alan Harper : [giddy]  Oh, oh, absolutely. Uh... uh, no... "no money - no honey"... no, "no lootie - no bootie"... "no cash advance, I'm not in your pants"! That was four hundred, right?

  Alexis : Five.

  Alan Harper : [embarrassed]  Oh, of course, five. Why did I think it was four?

• Alexis : [Alan is kissing on the couch with a hooker]  Oh, baby, you really turn me on!

  Alan Harper : Hang on a sec. I'm a little bummed by that 'turn me on' part. I want to believe you, but I've been with enough women to know it doesn't happen that fast. Sometimes it doesn't happen at all!

  Alexis : Honey, I would not lie to you.

  Alan Harper : [Sarcastically]  Of course not, why would you lie to me? I'm just saying it would help if you could tone down the narration to a more believable level.

  Alexis : Alright.

  [They start kissing again] 

  Alexis : Oh, you are the best kisser!

  Alan Harper : Okay. Again! I happen to know for a fact that I'm not the best kisser.

  Alexis : I'm a little confused here!

  Alan Harper : I'm just not buyin' it! And since I *am* buying it, I should be able to buy it! All you have to do is tell the truth. There's no need for hyperbolae.

  Alexis : Alright.

  [They start kissing again] 

  Alexis : Oh, Alan, your lips are so thin and dry!

  Alan Harper : Okay, now we're cookin'!

• Alexis : Sorry I'm a little late.

  Alan Harper : That's okay. As long as it doesn't come out of my... y'know, winky dink time!