- [Marshall, Lily and Robin all get the message over the phone that Ted is in the hospital after the car crash. They all drop what they were doing at the time in a heartbeat to run off and see him, all to dramatic music. They get into his room, out of breath, but with grave faces]
- Ted Mosby: [sitting upright in the bed, eating] Hey, guys. Jell-O?
- Barney Stinson: Ted, can we be friends again?
- Ted Mosby: Barney, come on. We're more then friends. We're brothers.
- [Both start crying]
- Barney Stinson: You're my brother, Ted.
- Ted Mosby: You're my brother, Barney.
- Barney Stinson: Did you hear that, Marshall? We're brothers now!
- Marshall Eriksen: We're all brothers.
- Barney Stinson: Yeah, but I'm your best brother, right?
- Barney Stinson: I had to look away because if I watched what the paramedics were about to do, I would've passed out. Then they took out this electric blade thing, and I kept thinking "this isn't happening, this isn't happening!"
- Lily Aldrin: Oh my god, what did they cut?
- Barney Stinson: My suit, my beautiful suit!
- Ted Mosby: I realized what changed between the moment I broke up with you and the moment I wanted you back.
- Stella Zinman: Your cab got T-boned by a jackass on a cell phone?
- Ted Mosby: I changed. I realized I want to be the man that you need. That's why I spent ten minutes at the claw machine trying to get the fake diamond ring but all I could get is the orange kangaroo.
- Stella Zinman: Diamond ring?
- Ted Mosby: Will you marry me?
- Robin Scherbatsky: A pencil going up Barney's nose is not a miracle.
- Marshall Eriksen: Then what other explanation do you have?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Uh... a drunken fool with a box full of pencils?
- Marshall Eriksen: Yeah, a drunken fool called God, and a box of pencils called Destiny!
- Stella Zinman: So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.
- Ted Mosby: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy! Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.
- Stella Zinman: Actually, she's marrying him. I just wanted your honest opinion.
- Ted Mosby: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom...
- Marshall Eriksen: God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locust to Egypt: to liberate me from corporate bondage. Miracle!
- Barney Stinson: Ted, no. You're violating the Date-Time Continuum. You never make plans with a girl further in the future than the amount of time you've been going out. You've been dating this girl for, what, two weeks? No, you're not taking her to a Springsteen concert in January. By that time you won't even remember this Robin girl's name.