- Kate Summers: I already know about your father and Leslie's mother.
- Ricky Stratton: You do? How come you're so calm?... I know - you've hired a hit man, right?
- Ricky Stratton: She's head over heels in love with me! She worships the ground I walk on!
- Edward Stratton III: Son, you shouldn't say stuff like that.
- Ricky Stratton: I didn't say 'em, Dad - she did.
- Edward Stratton III: Well, have you tried telling her that, uh, you just don't feel the same way about her that she does about you?
- Ricky Stratton: Not exactly... Well, it's hard to say that to a girl who thinks you're a Greek god!
- Edward Stratton III: She said that, too?
- Ricky Stratton: No. That one she wrote on the blackboard.
- Ricky Stratton: [reading Leslie's part for him in her play] It's true my nose is embarrassingly big - but there's nothing wrong with my eyes. I can't take 'em off you; you're an incredibly beautiful creature.
- Leslie: Why am I cursed with this legendary gorgeousness? Why does every man I meet fall hopelessly in love with me? Why?... Why?... Why?
- Ricky Stratton: [going off script] You got me.
- Veronica: It's been fifteen years. Have you thought about me?
- Edward Stratton III: ...Not really... Well, occasionally... Twice a week, tops.
- Leslie: My mother told me she was going to get your father back - and my mother always gets what she wants. So after they get married...
- Ricky Stratton: Married?
- Leslie: Sure! If I were your father, I'd start looking for a good caterer.
- Ricky Stratton: But - but what about Kate?
- Leslie: If I were her, I'd start looking for a good singles bar.
- Ricky Stratton: You're not fat - but you can't afford to get fat! You could just be three chocolate turtles away from a singles bar!