White Out (2008)

Jonathan C. Legat: Nick Watson

Quotes 

• Nick Watson : This is Nick Watson and the big old clock on the wall says fifty-four minutes remain before Reality signs off on WSKO for the last time.

• Hannah Lorenz : Tangent.

  Nick Watson : Yes, tangent.

  Hannah Lorenz : Topic.

  Nick Watson : Topics? Right. Um, I had something in here about Muslim terrorists, but I was asked politely, then not so politely, then threatened by the administration that the sheer act of saying Muslim terrorists perpetuates the stereotype that Muslims are, in fact, terrorists. And what I say to that is, the moment we get a six foot two Swedish bikini model blowing up an airplane, I'll change my tune.

• Andy Wolcienski : I remember it well. There was the slightest chill of early fall in the September air. I wore a scarf, and it was cute, I looked good. Partially to be trendy and partially because of those new Gap ads they just came out with. You know the ones, black and white. They were like swing dancing and stuff. You know and they were doing all that trendy winter garb.

  Nick Watson : Loved them

  Andy Wolcienski : They were throwing girls between you and me and out the window and stuff.

  Nick Watson : Much better than those Old Navy commercials.

  Andy Wolcienski : Old Navy's ridiculous.

• Hannah Lorenz : Back to Reality with Nick Watson.

  Nick Watson : Thank you. You know I've been doing this for four years. With only a brief hiatus before this past year to interrupt. And I've discussed with you all manners of silly subjects. From my comments about snipers on the borders to Canada and Mexico...

  Andy Wolcienski : That's an idea I still support, by the way.

  Nick Watson : It's a good idea. To my line of Pope products for the Pope's unfortunately canceled visit to the United States.

  Andy Wolcienski : I still want my "Pope-On-A-Rope!"

• Nick Watson : Alright, welcome back. As much as what just happened seemed like the end of the show, surprise! Tonight it's not. Tonight we'll be catching the flipside for Tim Haas who wandered into an errant snow bank. We'll be broadcasting till the wee hours of the morning. Sit back, relax, and get ready for another dose of Reality. But first, Hannah has the news.

  Hannah Lorenz : No news, just snow. I'd be surprised if anything gets done in New Hampshire tomorrow. This blizzard stretches all the way into Vermont.

• Nick Watson : Whore Michelle Fullmer will blow you for ten dollars. Her number is 928-3392, for those of you that didn't catch that, that's 928-3392. If you call within the next fifteen minutes and mention this ad, she'll give you a tongue bath for free. She'll even lick your ass...

  Hannah Lorenz : You will *not* say the rest on the air.

  Nick Watson : Use your imagination.

  Hannah Lorenz : Nick!