The World's Fifth-Largest Evil Organization, A.R.A.C.H.N.I.D. is a worldwide technology and security firm, best known for a number of nearly-successful global takeovers from the 1970s through the present day. Employment positions are always available for ex-soldiers, mercenaries, and others with a weak conscience and a respect for absolute authority. Past employees have gone on to senior positions in government, counterintelligence, and international villainy. Our doors are open to anyone wishing to make a better life for themselves through dedicated service to our Prime Commander, Igor Tarantula M.D. A.R.A.C.H.N.I.D. offers competitive salaries, 401(k), and comprehensive health & dental through our in-house medical program. Positions at A.R.A.C.H.N.I.D. become available year-round with some frequency. Unless you're a spy, in which case bugger off.
—AreYouExpendable.com