Christina Moore: Cherri

Quotes 

• Cherri : [Tiffany's memories from forgotten night, as she is drunkenly singing]  Tiffany! Stop it! You are ruining the party!

  Tiffany Malloy : [drunken giggle]  I am the party!

  [singing off-key:] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Where seldom is heard a discouraging word...

  Cherri : No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No more Gene Autry.

  [to the other girls who haven't fled the room] 

  Cherri : Let's take her to the bedroom and tie her down so we can salvage the rest of the weekend.

  Tiffany Malloy : [far gone]  Oh? Oh, the party's going to the bedroom? Oh, I haven't yodeled in there yet.

  [lets rip with a few more eardrum-assailing yodels] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Hello, you!

  Jack Malloy : [the reality: in the present, Tiffany lies sprawled on the couch, squawking out songs in her stupour, and Jack enters, annoyed]  Who is killing the cat, huh?

  Jennie Malloy : [clutching her ears]  Oh, shut her up! Shut her up! Will you make her come out of it?

  Jack Malloy : [to no avail]  Tiffany, honey, Tiffany, Tiffany!

  [idea:] 

  Jack Malloy : Tiffany, there's a sale at Barney's. Manolo Blahnik pumps are 50% off!

  Tiffany Malloy : What? Where am I?

  [comes to her senses] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, Daddy, that's it! I wasn't defiled or... or deflowered, I am untouched. Except by the music of Gene Autry.

  Jack Malloy : [hand raised in awe, so is Tiffany's]  Praise the greatest of the singing cowboys!

  Jennie Malloy : Now you can go back to school with your head held high.

  Tiffany Malloy : Are you kidding me? Why would I go back to school? I'm gonna gobble rum balls and groove to the tunes of Gene Autry.

  [eagerly rushing up the stairs to her room with the whole box of chocolates] 

• Cherri : Tiffany, do you want a martini?

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh no, thank you. I don't drink, I don't inhale, and I've never ever told anyone to lie. You have to stay pure if you wanna be President.

  Cherri : Well, how about a chocolate?

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, chocolate!

  [gladly accepts one, eats it, then feels something come over her] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Wait a minute! I feel funny, and woozy, and weird. What's in that thing?

  Cherri : It's just a rum ball.

  Tiffany Malloy : [panicking]  Rum? Oh my God. One half ounce of rum combined with my body weight and zero alcohol tolerance, I'm... Oh my God, I'm drunk!

• Ryan Malloy : So you're telling me that you don't remember me beating up the Abominable Snowman? I saved your life, he was attacking you!

  Cherri : I was making a snow angel and you jumped on me!

  Ryan Malloy : Yeah, and then right after that, the Abominable Snowman popped up.

  Cherri : He was more like the Abominable Snow*flake*, and he dissolved just as fast!

• Tiffany Malloy : Hi, Cherri.

  Cherri : I am, like, *so* not talking to you since the ski weekend. I mean, if you're gonna do that kind of stuff, for God's sakes, like, do it at home!

  [leaves in a huff] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh... Ryan, my best friend of the week won't talk to me, and... all the guys are leering at me like mustachioed old ladies at a Tom Jones concert.

  Ryan Malloy : Is he that old hound with the pelvic thrusts?

  Tiffany Malloy : No. No, that's Clinton.

• Cherri : Tiffany! Stop it! You are ruining the party!

  Tiffany Malloy : [tipsy, laughs merrily]  I am the party.

  [continues belting out Gene Autrey song:] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Where seldom is heard / a discouraging word...

  Cherri : No, no, no, no, no, no! No more Gene Autrey!

  [to the other girls:] 

  Cherri : Let's take her to the bedroom and tie her down so we can salvage the rest of the weekend.

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh! Ooh, the party's going to the bedroom! I haven't yodeled in there yet!

  [drunken giggle] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Yodel-lay-*hee*, yodel-lay-*hee*...!

  [to the camera:] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Hello, you!