Bobcat Goldthwait: Mr. Floppy

Quotes 

• Mr. Floppy : There is a bigger problem facing our nation. The idolization of the ordinary. For example, why are all the female day-time talk show hosts enormous beasts? It's like the charge of the woolly mammoth. Suddenly they lift their snouts out of the trough and talk. It's the new American way. Celebration of the plain.

  [condescendingly:] 

  Mr. Floppy : 'America the Beautiful' is becoming 'America with a Great Personality.' It is getting so that the President cannot even get a decent-looking girl.

  Jack Malloy : [can of beer in hand next to Floppy on the couch]  Oh, well, I guess they just want us to love the fatsos. Otherwise every young girl in America will feel she has to be thin and beautiful.

  Mr. Floppy : And that's bad? Why are we getting rid of the perfect role model? It's not impossible to achieve. If a girl wants to look the way God intended girls to look, all she needs to do, is get bigger breasts, remove a rib, get liposuction, and brush after vomiting, and voila! Someone you're not ashamed to be seen with. Kids need to dream about something that is beautiful and pure. Something like Claudia Schiffer. And for you girls, something like me.

  [makes goo-goo eyes at the camera] 

  Jack Malloy : Or something like me.

  Mr. Floppy : [sarcastically, viewing Jack's physique with disdain]  Yeah, something like you.