- Pete: What has happened is, during the winter months, during the gails and the blustery weather, sometimes, some of the letters become dislodged, you see, because of the gails. And obviously the letter R has become dislodged in this case. I was talking to the keeper about it, actually, and he said that very often, during the winter months, his R's blew off.
- Father: [nervously explaining the facts of life] Roger, in order, in order for you to be brought about, it was necessary for your mother and I to do something. In particular, it was necessary for your mother..., it was necessary for your mother to sit on a chair. To sit on a chair which I had recently vacated, and which was still warm from my body. And then, something very mysterious, rather wonderful, and beautiful happened, and sure enough, four years later, you were born.
- Father: Well Roger, now you have this knowledge about chairs and warmth, I hope you'll use it wisely, and take no notice of your school friends, or what Uncle Bertie might say.
- Roger: Dirty Uncle Bertie they call him at school, sir.
- Father: Dirty Uncle Bertie and they're right, Roger, your Uncle Bertie is a dirty, dirty man. He's been with - living with us now for forty years, and it does seem a day too much.
- Father: You know, if it hadn't been for your mother, Roger, I, I don't know where we'd have been. She's the only person who can cope with Uncle Bertie, she's the only one who can deal with him. I don't know if you realize this, Roger, but your mother even has to sleep in the same bed as Uncle Bertie, to prevent him getting up to anything in the night. If only there were more people like your mother, Roger.