Hamlet 2 (2008)

Amy Poehler: Cricket Feldstein

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cricket Feldstein : Well, this play is gonna bitch-slap Broadway like a cheap hooker at a gangbang.

  Dana Marschz : Uh... yeah.

  Cricket Feldstein : Y'know, and those Bible-humping protesters can suck a bag of dicks, 'cause all I ended up doing was giving you free publicity.

  Dana Marschz : Yeah, and did you see my dressing room? It has a bidet!

  Elisabeth Shue : That was a sink.

  Dana Marschz : It was?

• Cricket Feldstein : No one is shutting down this play. The Justice Department and the so-called Supreme Court can suck my balls.

  Dana Marschz : Why do they have to do this?

  Cricket Feldstein : My balls?

• Cricket Feldstein : You wanna hit me? I would love it if you hit me! I'm married to a Jew, I've got nothing to lose!

• Cricket Feldstein : I'm a short blonde chick and I play to the death. I pick cases I can win; because, I want to win big. Cases with controversy and headlines and steaming piles of shit flying left and right - mostly left.

• Cricket Feldstein : You have no documentation. No ID. Your badge isn't visible. And you accidentally grazed my boob when you tried to walk past me. I could put you away for a year!