- [Abby walks up to Gibbs' desk and sits down in the dimly lit squad room. Picking up his glasses, Abby puts them on and instantly becomes Gibbs]
- Abby Sciuto: I heard that, DiNozzo! Another wiseass comment like that and I will slap you so hard your grandchildren will feel it! You think that's funny, McGee? Wipe that smile off your face! That goes for you too, David!
- [picking up the phone]
- Abby Sciuto: Special Agent Gibbs!
- [realizing something, she slowly takes off the glasses]
- Abby Sciuto: You're standing behind me, aren't you?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yep.
- [comes down]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Feelin' real secure about your job, Abs?
- Abby Sciuto: Um, not so much anymore.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: [watching the Agents argue over suspects] What about Rule 15: "Always work together"?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Not *this* time.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: No one could've saved him, Jethro. He was dead the moment he stepped out on that ledge.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That what I tell his sister?
- Officer Ziva David: [re: Gibbs giving Abby a bouquet of black roses] Is that what you get for turning down the job offer?
- Abby Sciuto: No, for solving the case.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I believe those are for me, then, because I solved the case.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: But Abby ran the photo recognition that ID'd Lt. Arnett.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I risked my life hanging off a wall.
- Officer Ziva David: She discovered the drug interaction that made Arnett suicidal.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I suggested we run the wife's DNA.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Against a National Database of Felons. Dead end. Abby went the extra step and compared it to the Interpol Database.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't believe this.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Give it up, Tony.
- Officer Ziva David: She will always be the favorite, Tony.
- [after getting slapped by Abby, Tony is slapped again by Gibbs]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What was that for?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Spreading rumors.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: You give me that thing or I'm gonna...
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?
- [They start wrestling for the phone as the therapist comes out of his office]
- Dr. Neil Fleming: Hey, hey, hey! You two obviously have deeper issues than you discussed on the phone.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: On the phone?
- Dr. Neil Fleming: Aren't you the couple who called about marriage counseling?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Couple? Us? No, no, we...
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's all right. Timmy, Timmy - we're in a safe place. We can be ourselves here.
- [McGee pushes himself away from Tony]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We just got back from Vermont. Pretty there this time of year.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Sorry.
- [pulls out his badge]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: N.C.I.S. Special Agents McGee, DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Very special agents.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [after McGee saves Tony] I love you, McGee. I promise never to give you a hard time again.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Yeah, right.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: [watching McGee in interrogation] Well, McGee's got your mad act down.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Almost.
- Officer Ziva David: I'm Ziva David, I've seen you around.
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: I'm sorry, I don't shake hands.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I guess a hug's out of the question.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: [Gibbs enters Autopsy] I'm fast, but I'm not that fast. Something still bothering you?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. We're investigating a homicide *and* a suicide.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: She set him up like Kathleen Turner set up William Hurt in "Body Heat."
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: He is the perfect deep-cover mole. Sort of an Arab version of Kevin Costner in "No Way Out.'
- Officer Ziva David: [aside to Tony] A movie buff! One more thing you two have in common.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I was staring down 10 stories. Being a little disoriented is a little understandable.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Disoriented? You had your panties in a twist, tears in your eyes. Oh wait, I couldn't see your eyes 'cause they were shut so tight.
- Officer Ziva David: [about Jardine] You are not denying she's pretty.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Bizarre trumps pretty.
- Officer Ziva David: But, you would...?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: How, in a hazmat suit?
- Officer Ziva David: You two would make a good couple. You have something in common.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What?
- Officer Ziva David: Fear. She's afraid of germs, you're afraid of commitment, and you're both afraid of Gibbs.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: For the record, Ms. David... I'm not afraid of Gibbs.