- David Spade: At an airport in India, a swarm of bees grounded a flight. Eh, the passengers on the inside of the plane were fine, but the passengers on the top of the plane had to be...
- [drowned out by audience laughter]
- David Spade: There was an explosion at a Russian lab containing dangerous viruses like Ebola and small pox. This is the most airborne diseases released since Charlie Sheen sneezed in 2012.