Ted Lasso (TV Series)

Trent Crimm: The Independent (2020)

Jason Sudeikis: Ted Lasso

Photos 

Quotes 

• Trent Crimm : Ted. What you're doing is irresponsible. This club actually means something to this town.

  Ted Lasso : I know that. I do. Trent, what do you love? Is it writing?

  Trent Crimm : Yes.

  Ted Lasso : Yeah. Well, good, 'cause you're darn good at it.

  Trent Crimm : Thank you.

  Ted Lasso : You're welcome. Me? I love coaching. Now, I'm gonna say this again just so you didn't think it was a mistake the first time I said it. For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It's about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field. And it ain't always easy, Trent, but neither is growing up without someone believing in you.

• Rebecca Welton : So I spoke to the owner of The Sun.

  Ted Lasso : You spoke to God?

  Rebecca Welton : No, the newspaper.

  Ted Lasso : Oh, right.

• Keeley Jones : When this shit hits, Jamie is going to go mental. There's going to be photographers all over us.

  Ted Lasso : Right, right.

  Keeley Jones : The next picture of me will not be this perfect. I am gonna be mid-sneeze face, like...

  [mimes sneezing] 

  Keeley Jones : Guess what the headline will be.

  Ted Lasso : Gesundheit?

  Keeley Jones : "Jamie's Tart Breaks Tartt's Heart."

  Ted Lasso : Did you just come up with that?

  Keeley Jones : Yeah.

  Ted Lasso : Everyone would read that.

  Keeley Jones : Of course they would! I mean, you have no idea the power of rhyming in this goddamn country.

  Ted Lasso : Yeah.

  Keeley Jones : Ooh! "Lasso Makes Passo and Creates Team Fiasco."

  Ted Lasso : Whoa, Keeley's got bars!

  Keeley Jones : Yeah, I'm cute as a button and I can rhyme my ass off. God, it's no wonder they want to destroy me!

• Ted Lasso : Hey, Trent! You know who you remind me of right now?

  Trent Crimm : No. Who?

  Ted Lasso : One of them robot vacuums. Just kinda wandering around looking for dirt.

  Coach Beard : Roomba.

  Ted Lasso : That's the one.

• Ted Lasso : This woman right here is strong, confident and powerful.

  [Rebecca flexes her muscles] 

  Ted Lasso : Boss, I tell ya, I'd hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off it either.

  Rebecca Welton : Oh. That's not a compliment I've had before.

  Keeley Jones : Yeah, you do have perfect action figure-y arms.

  Rebecca Welton : There's another one.

• Ted Lasso : As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.

• Ted Lasso : It's beyond beautiful.It's hot.

• Roy Kent : I mean what even is a Wrinkle in Time?

  Trent Crimm : It's a lovely novel, it's the story of a young girl's struggle with the burden of leadership as she journeys thru space.

  Roy Kent : Am I supposed to be the little girl?

  Ted Lasso : I'd like you to be.

• Keeley Jones : This was gonna be the front page of The Sun today.

  [Shows Ted the photo] 

  Keeley Jones : "Manager Shags Star Player's Girlfriend."

  Ted Lasso : I think a more accurate headline would be, "Manager Innocently Feeds Young Woman Whose Relationship Does Not Define Her."

• Ted Lasso : Hey, Jamie, you gotta sell that run-through hard, baby. Make the defense believe you. Watch, like this: Ball! Ball! Give me the ball! I want the ball! Give me the ball! I would like the ball, please! You know, make it a performance. I want you winning an Oscar at the ESPYs next year.