It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

Mac Is a Serial Killer (2007)

Kaitlin Olson: Dee Reynolds

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dennis Reynolds : [Dennis walks out with a turtleneck and a clipboard as Mac arrives for a blind date]  Who are you here to see?

  Mac : My friend Sandy.

  Dennis Reynolds : Oh, Sandy. Sandy, huh? Is Sandy a young, attractive, blond girl?

  Mac : I have no idea.

  Dennis Reynolds : Uh, Sandy, why don't you come out here, please?

  Dee Reynolds : [walks out]  Oh, hello, Mac.

  Dennis Reynolds : Not so young and attractive, is she?

• Pimp : [spotting Dee in her skimpy outfit]  Damn, girl! Who you wit?

  Dee Reynolds : I think you have the wrong idea. I'm not with anybody.

  Pimp : Word. Well, lookee here: Maybe if you get up off that crack rock, you can come and be Pepper Jack's best ho.

  Dee Reynolds : Oh, I'm not on any crack rock. I mean... Okay, one time I was hooked on the crack rock. That was because I was trying to get on welfare and I failed a drug test. But that stuff, you gotta be careful. It'll mess you... Why are you asking? Do you have some on you?

• Dennis Reynolds : [the gang talks about the city's serial killer as Mac suddenly walks into the bar]  This guy got laid last night!

  Mac : [nervously]  No, I didn't!

  Dennis Reynolds : Yeah, you did. You didn't come last night.

  Mac : Yes, I did!

  Dee Reynolds : Yeah, those are the same clothes you were wearing yesterday.

  Mac : No, they aren't. They're different clothes.

  Dennis Reynolds : Hey, what's with those scratches on your neck?

  Mac : Scratches? What scratches? I've... I've gotta take a piss. Stop asking me questions.

  [runs into the bathroom] 

  Dee Reynolds : Well, that was weird.

  Charlie Kelly : I wonder what got into him.

  Frank Reynolds : Serial killin'!

• [Mac lets Charlie overhear Mac talking on the phone with a woman called Sandy, who unbeknownst to them is actually Dee disguising her voice] 

  Dee Reynolds : This is Mac, right? Good looking guy, great sense of humor, really bulky.

  Mac : Uh, more ripped.

  Charlie Kelly : Strike that.

  Mac : Jacked.

  Charlie Kelly : Irrelevant.

  Mac : Toned.

  Charlie Kelly : Exaggeration.

  Mac : I work out.

  Charlie Kelly : I'll allow it.

• Frank Reynolds : I'm going to go oil my chainsaw.

  Dee Reynolds : What?

  Dennis Reynolds : Frank, we don't need the chainsaw. Is that what's in that bag?

  Frank Reynolds : Oh, we do... because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance... a beautiful dance with a chainsaw.

  Dennis Reynolds : He makes less and less sense as the days go by.

  Dee Reynolds : I don't get it... at all.

• Dee Reynolds : Did you bring the condoms?

  Mac : Ooooh. Not a fan of the whole condom thing.

• Dee Reynolds : [to Dennis who is hiding in bushes]  Dennis!

  Dennis Reynolds : Dee! What the hell are you doing? Get out of here! You're gonna blow my cover.

  Dee Reynolds : This seems extraordinarily dangerous.

  Dennis Reynolds : Dee, that is the point of being here. This is the area of the highest concentration of murders by the serial killer.

  Dee Reynolds : I know, that's why I feel like a sitting duck out there.

  Dennis Reynolds : Well, you volunteered for this, sis, okay? As you recall, I didn't want to use you as the bait: You do not fit the profile.

  Dee Reynolds : [annoyed]  I fit the profile, Dennis!

  Dennis Reynolds : That's the right attitude.

  [refers to Dee's breasts] 

  Dennis Reynolds : Now, pull these out or something. You need to look sexy for this guy. Otherwise he's never gonna... come on.

  Dee Reynolds : I just feel this is a very inappropriate outfit for how cold it is out here.

  Dennis Reynolds : Is it cold out here?

  Dee Reynolds : [irritated]  It's freezing!

  Dennis Reynolds : See, I don't feel that. I have a down jacket, a wool blanket... It's a very toasty situation I got back here. Get back out there, Tiger. You can do it! I believe in you.