Kevin Connolly: Ryan Malloy

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : [on cellphone]  You are a retard if you want to be with anyone but Matt Le Blanc. Without him, they might as well call that show 'Girls.'

  [sits down next to Ryan on couch, obviously bothered by the noisy cartoon he and Ross are watching] 

  Tiffany Malloy : It's Rachel that makes the haircut, not the haircut that makes Rachel.

  [older brother turns up the volume] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Ryan, I can't hear.

  Ryan Malloy : Right, I can't read, you don't see me crying about it.

• Ryan Malloy : I don't wanna get a job. It's no life for a man. All I wanna do is laugh, drink beer, chase girls, sleep late, hang around all day...

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh! You mean college?

  [sighs, sits down next to him on the couch] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Well, we have to find one that will take in... a total moron.

  [thinks about it] 

  Tiffany Malloy : I know, Cheeseburger Community College!

• Ryan Malloy : [as Ross switches off cartoon show]  What are you doing?

  Ross Malloy : These violent cartoons are poison. Can't you see you're mimicking what you see on TV?

  Ryan Malloy : Don't censor me, okay? Government's job.

  Tiffany Malloy : Ryan, don't pick on him. He's not your nose.