- Jack Malloy: Uh, where are you going, young lady?
- Tiffany Malloy: Oh, I have fifteen parties, and then we're all gonna wind up at the beach to watch the baby sea turtles hatch.
- Jack Malloy: Okay, honey, be home by ten.
- Tiffany Malloy: Ten, Daddy?
- Jack Malloy: Okay, eleven.
- Tiffany Malloy: Eleven, Daddy?
- Jack Malloy: Okay, twelve!
- Tiffany Malloy: Twelve, Daddy?
- Jack Malloy: Okay, come home whenever you want, but at least call me to let me know you're okay.
- Tiffany Malloy: No.
- Jack Malloy: Okay. Have a nice time.
- [Tiffany goes on her way...]
- Jack Malloy: [... and Ross comes down the stairs] Where are you going, Mister?
- Ross Malloy: To a party. Then we are gonna go down to the beach to put sugar in the gas tanks of the idiots watching the sea turtles hatch. Dumb tree-huggers are interrupting the birth cycle.
- Jack Malloy: Yeah, in my day we would have just beat the sea turtles with baseball bats, but hey! Grow or die! Peace to the shelled ones, man!
- [flashes hip peace sign]
- Ross Malloy: Why don't you just watch MTV like all the other old people, Dad?
- Jack Malloy: [as Ross goes on his way] There goes one unplugged dude!
- Tiffany Malloy: One of my patent leather pumps is missing. Does anyone know where it is?
- Ross Malloy: [gets accusatory looks all round] Hey, don't look at me. That was just a phase!
- Ryan Malloy: Tiffany... you think that maybe you could get me into one of those parties tonight?
- Tiffany Malloy: Not even if you came with a bat and was filled with candy.
- Ryan Malloy: Maybe you could take me to the beach afterwards and we could watch the turtles hatch.
- Tiffany Malloy: Well, they won't hatch if you're watching.
- Ryan Malloy: How are they gonna know it's me?
- Tiffany Malloy: Cause all the females will crawl back into their shells.
- Jack Malloy: Honey... Honey, you're actually eating something. Does this mean you're finally hungry?
- Tiffany Malloy: No, I don't like the way this dress hangs.
- [bites off the tip of a carrot, swallows:]
- Tiffany Malloy: There! That's better!
- [much pleased with fit of mini-dress now]
- [first lines]
- Jack Malloy: [brought home the dogs from their daily outing, and as they dash up the stairs:] Good work, guys! Especially you, Jasper!
- Ryan Malloy: [to Mom] Well, I finally found Crystal. I didn't want to disturb her though, you know. She was going through your jewelry drawer.
- Jack Malloy: Yup, I love Sundays. It's a day for scrambled eggs, ball games...
- Tiffany Malloy: Church!
- Ross Malloy: What's church?
- Jack Malloy: It's where people used to go on Sundays before there was football.