- Rick Sanchez: [Morty's dragon burns a hole in the living room floor from his cave below the house] And that's the end of the 'Morty Gets A Dragon' episode.
- Summer Smith: Are you gonna slay it?
- Rick Sanchez: First off, I always slay it, queen. Secondly, yes.
- Rick Sanchez: Honeymoon over already?
- Morty Smith: What's that supposed to mean?
- Rick Sanchez: Admit it Morty: Dragons suck.
- Morty Smith: Why don't you admit you don't want anyone else to be happy because you're a sad old fart?
- Rick Sanchez: [to Summer after Morty walks away] How do you saddle a fart?
- Beth Smith: Dad, are you okay? Your ship crashed in Malta.
- Rick Sanchez: I'm okay.
- Beth Smith: Oh, thank God.
- [Beat]
- Beth Smith: Dad, did you promise Morty a dragon?
- Rick Sanchez: Fuuuuuuu...
- [Cue intro]
- Wizard: Bleed here and here.
- Rick Sanchez: I'm not co-bleeding.
- Wizard: Under authority of our treaty, 'twixt the realms of dragon and man...
- Summer Smith: Oh, my God, it's my first gay wedding.
- Morty Smith: Summer!
- Morty Smith: [Morty and Summer discover Rick and Balthromar soul-bonding] What the fuck?
- Rick Sanchez: Morty, I can explain.
- Morty Smith: Stop! Why are you still doing it?
- Rick Sanchez: Why does it feel better now? I hope it's not because you're watching, but don't go anywhere.
- Balthromar: How did you find us?
- Summer Smith: We followed the smell of sulfur and skankery.
- Wizard: Ice spell! Ice spell! Oh, God! That just made it last longer. Ah, it burns longer! Ah, I could have died fast!
- Woman: Oh, gross! Who shit in the sand? Someone took a small shit in the sand and buried it with, like, two little kicks and just left it here like a land mine. Why and who?
- Talking Cat: [Points at Jerry] It was him.
- Jerry Smith: Okay, I'll bite. What's with the talking cat?
- Rick Sanchez: It's a dragon, dip knob.
- Jerry Smith: I know that's a dragon. I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom.
- Rick Sanchez: Jerry, why would I give Morty a talking dragon and you a talking cat at the same time? Those concepts bump. If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event unrelated to me like when you went to Pluto or fucked my daughter.
- Jerry Smith: Okay, there's really no need to get savage.