Rutland Weekend Television (TV Series)
Rutland Weekend Budget Cuts (1975)
David Battley: Piano Player
Photos
Quotes
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Brian : Hello. Are people difficult bastards or not? To help us find out, we have in the studio a really difficult bastard...
Arthur Collier : Hello, good evening.
Brian : ...and the Bishop of Somerset.
Bishop of Somerset : Get lost.
Brian : Can I turn to you first, Bishop?
Bishop of Somerset : Shut up.
Brian : Oh. Arthur Collier, you have the reputation of being an extremely difficult bastard.
Arthur Collier : Yes that's right Brian, I certainly do have that reputation, most true.
Brian : Have you had this reputation for a long time?
Arthur Collier : Uh, for quite some while, certainly Brian, yes.
Brian : Uh, if you don't mind my saying so, you don't seem to me to be an extremely difficult bastard at all...
Arthur Collier : Oh shut up!
[karate chops Brian, jumps and sits on the table, pointing at the camera]
Arthur Collier : Right. Get this and get it right. The Bishop and I have got Michael Aspel tied up in a basement, and unless a thousand pounds is put on the steps...
Bishop of Somerset : And a crate of whiskey!
Arthur Collier : What?
Bishop of Somerset : And a crate of whiskey.
Arthur Collier : Oh. Unless a thousand pounds and a crate of whiskey is put on the s...
Bishop of Somerset : And a wristwatch.
Arthur Collier : What?
Bishop of Somerset : I need a new wristwatch.
Arthur Collier : What sort?
Bishop of Somerset : Mickey Mouse one.
Arthur Collier : Alright. Unless a thousand pounds, a crate of whiskey, and a Mickey Mouse wristwatch are p...
Bishop of Somerset : And get some of those little chocolate!
Arthur Collier : What sort?
Bishop of Somerset : Those nice minty ones.
Arthur Collier : Yeah alright. Unless a thousand pounds, a crate of whiskey, a Mickey Mouse wristwatch, and some of those nice minty choccies...