Silver Spoons (TV Series)

St Louis Blues (1984)

Jason Bateman: Derek Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Derek Taylor : That was so sappy, Norman Rockwell would have refused to paint it.

  Ricky Stratton : Derek, you don't have to get ashamed about showing emotions.

  Derek Taylor : OK, maybe for a second - a millisecond - I wished that my family would get along as well as you guys do. But I'm over that now - case of temporary insanity.

• Derek Taylor : My dad cheats on his expense accounts, he cheats on his taxes, cheats on his golf score - I mean, I really look up to him... But cheating on my mom! How could he do something like that?

• Derek Taylor : Mr. Stratton, I don't want to go to St. Louis. Could, uh... could I stay here with you guys?

  Edward Stratton III : ...Listen, Derek - we would love to have you. Wouldn't we, Rick?

  Ricky Stratton : [stunned, then realizing]  ... I *would* like that. It's amazing!

• Derek Taylor : Man - we've had some good times together, haven't we?

  Ricky Stratton : We sure have.

  Derek Taylor : Rick, uh... this is my last chance to ask a question that's - that's been on my mind for a long time. Since we've known each other, there may have been one... two instances when I may have been a little hard to take.

  Ricky Stratton : Noooooo.

  Derek Taylor : Yeah - really! And the thing is, is that no matter how many rotten, dirty tricks that I pull on you... you always stayed my friend. How come?

  Ricky Stratton : ...You know, I've asked myself that question a thousand times.

  Derek Taylor : You ever come up with an answer?

  Ricky Stratton : Yeah! 'Cause, you see, no matter how big a pain in the butt you are, life with Derek Taylor is never boring!

  Derek Taylor : I try.

• Derek Taylor : Rick, you are without a doubt the most upfront, upright, uptight, disgustingly straight arrow best friend a guy ever had.

  Ricky Stratton : Derek, you are without a doubt the most underhanded, unwholesome, untrustworthy, outrageously scuzzy best friend a guy ever had.

  Derek Taylor : Thanks!

  Ricky Stratton : You're welcome.

  Derek Taylor : ...You know what?

  Ricky Stratton : What?

  Derek Taylor : I'm really gonna miss you.

  Ricky Stratton : I'm gonna miss you, too.

• Ricky Stratton : I wanna give you this.

  Derek Taylor : It's your Swiss Army knife. That's one of your most favorite things.

  Ricky Stratton : Yeah, well... well, now you'll have something to remember me by.

  Derek Taylor : Thanks. Hey... I want you to have this.

  [takes off the watch he's wearing and hands it to Ricky] 

  Ricky Stratton : [examining the watch]  This is my watch. I loaned it to you a month ago.

  Derek Taylor : Oh, yeah. Keep it.

  [last lines] 

• Ricky Stratton : I was watching Phil Donahue last week, and there was a bunch of wives on the show talking about "The Gray Itch."

  Derek Taylor : "The Gray Itch." Is that anything like the heartbreak of psoriasis?

  Ricky Stratton : No, no, you see, it -- you see, it's when a man becomes middle-aged and his hair starts turning gray. He starts to worry whether women will still think he's sexy. It's an itch. So he finds himself a woman and... scratches.

  Derek Taylor : Did the wives in the show forgive their husbands?

  Ricky Stratton : I don't know. I got bored and switched to The Flintstones. But Wilma did forgive Fred for going bowling on their anniversary.

• Derek Taylor : Can I stay?

  Ricky Stratton : Sure - I'll ask my dad... But you have to promise not to be your usual obnoxious self.

  Derek Taylor : Moi? I'm famous for being the perfect guest... Do you mind if I take the bed, and you take the floor?

• Derek Taylor : You know, I am a little nervous about what's gonna happen to me in St. Louis.

  Ricky Stratton : I'm more nervous about what's gonna happen to St. Louis.

• Derek Taylor : My dad's been cheating on my mom again.

  Ricky Stratton : Oh. I -- I thought he was getting help in group therapy?

  Derek Taylor : He was. And then he met another lady in the group who had the same problem. And they both just got back from a weekend in Atlantic City.

  Ricky Stratton : Well, they probably had fun.