- David Spade: Jeffrey Epstein may have tried to hang himself in prison but failed. In fairness, he's used to having a girl scout tie the knot for him.
- [audience laughs]
- David Spade: Yeah...
- Whitney Cummings: That is an A plus joke!
- David Spade: Harvey Weinstein's team filed a motion to dismiss the sexual assault case. Unfortunately, the motion was this:
- [mimes jerking off]
- David Spade: Yeah!
- Chris Rock: [pre-recorded message] Hey, this is Chris Rock and you need to watch the new David Spade show. I have know idea what the name is, but I'm sure it's good. So watch the show, watch Spade and kiss my ass.