Seth Meyers: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Himself - Host : Trump's always hiding something. He spent his entire life lying about everything from his net worth to his businesses to his personal life. If we subpoenaed his driver's license we'd probably find out his real name was something totally different, like Tiddly D. Wigglesmith III.

• Self - Host : Now, it will not surprise you to learn that Trump did not take kindly to that remark and shortly afterward, he called an impromptu press conference. And you knew right off the bat this was gonna be a weird one because before Trump even got there, he had a sign printed up in front of the podium with the words "No collusion" and "No obstruction" on it. First of all, this is such a dumb sign because he made the words "No" super big and the other words super tiny. I have a feeling the staff at D.C Kinkos voted for Hillary. If anything, this looks like the world's least effective anti-drug PSA.

• Self - Host : [after Trump claims that he's the most transparent president ever]  No, we would not agree. I mean... I mean, we can see right through you, but I don't think that's what you meant.