Adopt a Sailor (2008)
Bebe Neuwirth: Patricia
Quotes
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Sailor : [Speaking of Richard's profession] Wow, a movie maker.
Patricia : Oh, well, careful. Richard makes films, not movies. There's a big difference.
Sailor : What difference is that?
Patricia : Well, as far as I can tell; movies, people want to see. Films, on the other hand, people need to be talked into seeing.
Sailor : Huh.
Patricia : Yup. And Richard makes films.
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Patricia : [an upper Westside sophisticate] We New Yorkers must seem a little strange to you, huh?
Sailor : [a "hayseed" from Turkey Scratch, AR] : Oh, I think y'all are great... a tad... uh, what's that word? Yeah, a tad provincial, but otherwise I think y'all are first rate.
Patricia : Wait, wait. Did you just call us provincial?
Sailor : Uh, yes, ma'am, I guess I did. I don't mean any offense. It's just an observation is all.
Patricia : That's a little bit of stretch, wouldn't you say?
Sailor : Why would that be, ma'am?
Patricia : Well, maybe we're not on the same wavelength when it comes to the definition of provincial.
Sailor : Jeez, maybe we're not.
Patricia : Well, when I think of someone as being provincial, I think of them as being small minded - you know, being prejudiced in their views, not being open to differing influences, especially philosophically.
Sailor : [long pause] Huh! What do you know? That's... that's how I think of provincial, too.
Patricia : Oh...
[laugh of recognition]
Patricia : ...is that right?
Sailor : I guess it all depends on which side of the pot you're pissin' in, huh, ma'am?
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Patricia : You stay a chicken, okay?
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Patricia : What's the point of getting married if we can't be unattractive to each other?
Richard : I thought the point of getting married was to placate your father before he died.
Patricia : No. No, you're forgetting that's the sentimental reason we leak to friends. The real reason is because you can't make money and you knew my family had plenty of it. Ring a bell?
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Patricia : Well, why is the man from the Cracker Jack box standing in our living room?
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Patricia : I love children. I think they are indispensable, especially in regard to our need to repopulate the Earth every once in a while.
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Patricia : Richard, I swear to God, if I see your thumb go anywhere near your mouth, I'm gonna break it off and eat it right in front of you.
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Patricia : Is it just me, Richard, or is there a huge neon, blinking red target on the middle of my forehead?
Richard : Not that I can make out.
Patricia : Why is the world trying to kill me, then?
Richard : Somebody I know have a grumpity-grump day?
Patricia : It's the tone out there. It's dissonant.