Scrubs (TV Series)
My Conventional Wisdom (2007)
Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
Quotes
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Why would you tell me you miscarried our child when you clearly didn't?
Dr. Kim Briggs : That's probably a question I should answer more face to face after the lecture.
[stammering]
Dr. Kim Briggs : Are there any other questions? Yes, you sir.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Yeah, uh, I think you should answer his question.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [thinking] How did he get over there so fast?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [out loud] You're a good friend.
Dr. Christopher Turk : I got your back.
Dr. Kim Briggs : [breathing deeply] Anyone else have a question? Yes you i-in the back.
Old M.C. : Bust a move!
Dr. Kim Briggs : Really more a statement than a question, but thank you.
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I'm just so mad I literally don't know what to say to her.
[J.D. holds up his hand to stop Old M.C. from talking as he walks by]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Don't you dare. Part of me wants to talk to her, part of me wants to...
Old M.C. : [yelling from a distance] Bust a move?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : You have a problem, sir, seek help!
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Say I was too nervous to hit on that girl over there what advice would you give me?
Old M.C. : Bust a move.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Alright, alright. What if a great song comes on and I'm too shy to get down, what should I do?
Old M.C. : Bust a move.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : You're awesome, man, what are you drinking, we'll buy you one.
Old M.C. : Bust a move.
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Dr. Christopher Turk : How are you doing?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Not too bad, considering I just had a bomb dropped on me.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Oh no, that was bigger than a bomb, more like an asteroid about to hit the planet, you know? People running in the streets screaming "Oh my god, it's coming right at us!", and then dudes turning to hot chicks and being all like "Look, we're about to die so can I hit that?", and then the girls like "Hell to the no!", but then she realizes, "Oh my god, I'm about to die, so you know what? Yeah you can hit this, but no kissing."
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : That's exactly what it's like!
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Were you ever planning on telling me?
Dr. Kim Briggs : Yes, of course, yes. I just hadn't figured out how yet. I mean, what could I possibly say?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I don't know, how about, "J.D., I think there might be something living in my uterus."
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Dr. Christopher Turk : So when the conference starts, I pretend to choke, and you say, "Is there a doctor in the house?" It's going to kill.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Yeah, but don't really choke, 'cause that wouldn't be funny.
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Bartender : I'm sorry. We don't have appletinis. I can make you a peachtini.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Too foofy for my taste. I'll just have a beer, thanks... with a pineapple wedge.
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Dr. Kim Briggs : I know I made a huge mistake. And I'm so, so sorry. I just, I had backed myself into this corner I didn't know how to get out of, and...
[Long pause]
Dr. Kim Briggs : You know what? No more excuses. I did a horrible thing. And I don't expect you to forgive me.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Well good, because I'm not going to.
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Dr. Kim Briggs : [J.D. confronts Kim in person for lying about a miscarriage] ... Sorry?
[She grins feebly. J.D. stares daggers at her]
Dr. Kim Briggs : Okay, too soon for laughter. I know that you must be really upset.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Upset is just one of the emotions I'm feeling, Kim. How could you do this to me?
Dr. Kim Briggs : I don't know. My hormones went crazy. And I was scared, and I thought that the only reason we were together was because I was pregnant. So I lied, and I pushed you out the door, and then I got really angry that you left me!
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Dr. Kim Briggs : Crap salad, I gotta go give another lecture. I just need 40 minutes and... Please stay. Promise me that you'll just stay and we can talk about this.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Fine. But I'm not doing it for you.
Dr. Kim Briggs : Fair enough.
-
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : God, I can't stop thinking about Elliot.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, it's over, okay? You guys had your chance. She crushed you, you crushed her. It's always a train wreck.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : That was then.
Dr. Christopher Turk : What's so different now?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : She's getting married. I don't know, I guess, in the back of my head, I thought even after all the hell we'd put each other through, we might end up together, you know?
Dr. Christopher Turk : Yeah.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I mean, what if not being with Elliot is the biggest mistake of my life?
Dr. Christopher Turk : You've made bigger mistakes.
Phone Recording : [Flashback: J.D. is on the phone] For tickets to see "Basic Instinct 2", press the pound key.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Back to present] That one still stings.