30 Rock (TV Series)
Rosemary's Baby (2007)
Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy
Quotes
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Jack : Never go with a hippie to a second location.
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Liz Lemon : Alright, I need my job back but this is not crawling, this is proud begging like those kids that dance on the subway.
Jack : Of course you can have your job back, Lemon.
Liz Lemon : Oh thank god! It was terrible. I went to her apartment. I don't think she has a toilet! I saw my future, Jack.
Jack : Never go with a hippie to a second location.
[hands Lemon a glass of wine]
Liz Lemon : [sighs] I can't end up like that. I have gotta make money and save it. And I have to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into *more* money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack : With my eyes closed.
Liz Lemon : Oh good, because I want to send Rosemary $400 a month for... forever.
Jack : You should, that woman is unemployable.
Liz Lemon : Rosemary said that women become obsolete in this business when there's no one left that wants to see them naked.
Jack : You make enough money, you can pay people to look at you naked.
[raises glass]
Jack : To the future, Lemon. Oh, and by the way, GE has a problem with the dog penis sketch.
Liz Lemon : [they both take a sip, Lemon hands her glass back to Jack] I'll change it.
[turns to leave, Jack pours the remainder of her wine into his glass]
Liz Lemon : [off screen] Hey, what about cat penises?
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Jack : [Pretending to be Tracy's dad] Lady, just because I'm an ignorant black man and you paid me a nickel to bust up your chifforobe, doesn't give you the right to call me ridiculous just 'cause I'm proud of my son.
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Jack : [about Rosemary] Fire her. And don't ever make me talk to a woman that old again.
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Jack : It is with great pleasure I would like to announce that the recipient of this year's prestigious GE Followship award is none other than our very own Liz Lemon.
Frank Rossitano : Wait, how could Liz win a fellowship award? She doesn't like people.
Jack : No, followship. Presented annually to the woman... sorry, person... who best exemplifies a follower.
Liz Lemon : I'm not a follower.
Jack : It also comes with 10 grand.
Liz Lemon : I accept this proudly on behalf of followers everywhere.
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Jack : What is it about your wiring that compels you to do exactly what you're asked not to?
Tracy Jordan : I don't know. I've always been this way.
Man : [cut to flashback] Tracy, don't play with matches.
Young Tracy : You're not my dad!
Man : [cut to another flashback] Tracy, don't stare directly at the sun. It'll make you crazy.
Young Tracy : You're not my dad!
Man : [cut to another flashback] Tracy, you're not going out of the house dressed like that!
Young Tracy : You're not my dad!
Jack : [cut back to present] I'm beginning to think this has something to do with your dad.
Tracy Jordan : You're not my dad! You can't tell me what it's about!
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Jack : Never go with a hippie to a second location.
