- Paul Lewiston: [to Alan] With all due respect to your friendship, Denny and I go back almost 40 years.
- [This is obviously true, but that was in Star Trek]
- Alan Shore: We're actually sitting in a court room, wasting tax dollars, because my client had gas. He was constipated, he went to remedy his problem, in a bathroom, imagine that, where low and behold, three undercover police officers were lurking, waiting, to interpret a tapping foot as a call for gay sex. Now, maybe Larry Craig deserved his fate, thrown in front of the very bus he helped to build, but Denny Crane doesn't deserve this, all he was trying to do was take a crap.